Chris
@millr.org
Pronounce it like you’re a pirate. Come here for:
Nerd-adjacent quips
Minor political outrage
Non-militant sober advocacy
Nerd-adjacent quips
Minor political outrage
Non-militant sober advocacy
@therealcheftom.bsky.social halp!
We need two Thanksgiving meal recommends:
1. Best place to buy a turkey *breast*?
2. Any advice for cooking at altitude? (~7500 ft)
Totally get it if you’re too busy to answer.
Recipe reference: www.girlversusdough.com/bacon-wrappe...
We need two Thanksgiving meal recommends:
1. Best place to buy a turkey *breast*?
2. Any advice for cooking at altitude? (~7500 ft)
Totally get it if you’re too busy to answer.
Recipe reference: www.girlversusdough.com/bacon-wrappe...
bacon wrapped maple bourbon turkey breast
A delicious twist on tradition -- bacon wrapped maple bourbon turkey breast is sure to be your new favorite way to serve the bird on Thanksgiving!
www.girlversusdough.com
November 25, 2025 at 7:41 PM
@therealcheftom.bsky.social halp!
We need two Thanksgiving meal recommends:
1. Best place to buy a turkey *breast*?
2. Any advice for cooking at altitude? (~7500 ft)
Totally get it if you’re too busy to answer.
Recipe reference: www.girlversusdough.com/bacon-wrappe...
We need two Thanksgiving meal recommends:
1. Best place to buy a turkey *breast*?
2. Any advice for cooking at altitude? (~7500 ft)
Totally get it if you’re too busy to answer.
Recipe reference: www.girlversusdough.com/bacon-wrappe...
Therapist: what's your greatest fear?
Me: That my kid will grow up and not like coffee.
Me: That my kid will grow up and not like coffee.
November 20, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Therapist: what's your greatest fear?
Me: That my kid will grow up and not like coffee.
Me: That my kid will grow up and not like coffee.
Does anyone know how to say, "I love you, but your arbitrary ball licking is a little too much for the amount of concentration I need today." in pug?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
November 17, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Does anyone know how to say, "I love you, but your arbitrary ball licking is a little too much for the amount of concentration I need today." in pug?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
Me: you can have attitude or you can be wrong. You cannot be both. Which one do you want to be?
Kid: attitude.
Me: cool, make sure you’re right next time you have attitude.
Kid: attitude.
Me: cool, make sure you’re right next time you have attitude.
November 17, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Me: you can have attitude or you can be wrong. You cannot be both. Which one do you want to be?
Kid: attitude.
Me: cool, make sure you’re right next time you have attitude.
Kid: attitude.
Me: cool, make sure you’re right next time you have attitude.
Anyone who has ever said, "you can do anything you put your mind to." Has never tried to setup a Matter smart plug in both Google Home and Apple Home while having an Eero powered network.
#vintagetweet
#vintagetweet
November 6, 2025 at 5:26 AM
Anyone who has ever said, "you can do anything you put your mind to." Has never tried to setup a Matter smart plug in both Google Home and Apple Home while having an Eero powered network.
#vintagetweet
#vintagetweet
Being an alcoholic / addict has few perks.
One of them is that I would sure as shit win a gold medal in a game of, "123, where you gonna throw up?"
My kid on the other hand? She can't even make it to the bathroom tile four feet away.
#vintagetweet
One of them is that I would sure as shit win a gold medal in a game of, "123, where you gonna throw up?"
My kid on the other hand? She can't even make it to the bathroom tile four feet away.
#vintagetweet
October 30, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Being an alcoholic / addict has few perks.
One of them is that I would sure as shit win a gold medal in a game of, "123, where you gonna throw up?"
My kid on the other hand? She can't even make it to the bathroom tile four feet away.
#vintagetweet
One of them is that I would sure as shit win a gold medal in a game of, "123, where you gonna throw up?"
My kid on the other hand? She can't even make it to the bathroom tile four feet away.
#vintagetweet
October 20, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Listening to @karaswisher.bsky.social's interview with Kamala. Two thoughts front & center:
1. Both Kamala and Hillary were easily the two most qualified presidential candidates of US history.
2. Gutted Kamala has zero presidential hope because she can't help but speak in political platitudes.
1. Both Kamala and Hillary were easily the two most qualified presidential candidates of US history.
2. Gutted Kamala has zero presidential hope because she can't help but speak in political platitudes.
October 13, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Listening to @karaswisher.bsky.social's interview with Kamala. Two thoughts front & center:
1. Both Kamala and Hillary were easily the two most qualified presidential candidates of US history.
2. Gutted Kamala has zero presidential hope because she can't help but speak in political platitudes.
1. Both Kamala and Hillary were easily the two most qualified presidential candidates of US history.
2. Gutted Kamala has zero presidential hope because she can't help but speak in political platitudes.
Subject: "Mastering Pivot Tables"
I see ICE has found a new way to torture people.
I see ICE has found a new way to torture people.
October 8, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Subject: "Mastering Pivot Tables"
I see ICE has found a new way to torture people.
I see ICE has found a new way to torture people.
Me to my pug: “I think we need to tone down that eyeball losing energy.”
…she’s had two surgeries in the last year because she wanted to start shit with our other dog that’s twice her size.
…she’s had two surgeries in the last year because she wanted to start shit with our other dog that’s twice her size.
October 4, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Me to my pug: “I think we need to tone down that eyeball losing energy.”
…she’s had two surgeries in the last year because she wanted to start shit with our other dog that’s twice her size.
…she’s had two surgeries in the last year because she wanted to start shit with our other dog that’s twice her size.
Pokémon lawyers won’t sue DHS for that video, former legal head predicts
“Gotta Catch ‘Em All.”
www.theverge.com
September 24, 2025 at 3:09 AM
They wanted cheaper eggs, so they voted in the bankrupt sexual predator. You won't believe what happened next!
Also, there's something incredibly poetic about the cost of "calm" increasing.
Also, there's something incredibly poetic about the cost of "calm" increasing.
September 16, 2025 at 6:48 PM
They wanted cheaper eggs, so they voted in the bankrupt sexual predator. You won't believe what happened next!
Also, there's something incredibly poetic about the cost of "calm" increasing.
Also, there's something incredibly poetic about the cost of "calm" increasing.
Without hyperbole, iOS 26 makes me want to move to Android.
September 16, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Without hyperbole, iOS 26 makes me want to move to Android.
Me to my dog: You’re so perfect. Except for that, wanting to murder other dogs when we go for walks, part.
August 29, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Me to my dog: You’re so perfect. Except for that, wanting to murder other dogs when we go for walks, part.
Was feeling super down and stressed out after a crazy 14 hour work day. So, I ordered four pints of ice cream.
In a previous life, four pints of beer wouldn’t even be scratching the surface on getting the night started.
#recovery
In a previous life, four pints of beer wouldn’t even be scratching the surface on getting the night started.
#recovery
August 26, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Was feeling super down and stressed out after a crazy 14 hour work day. So, I ordered four pints of ice cream.
In a previous life, four pints of beer wouldn’t even be scratching the surface on getting the night started.
#recovery
In a previous life, four pints of beer wouldn’t even be scratching the surface on getting the night started.
#recovery
It turns out my love language is when things are solved without anyone needing my help.
August 20, 2025 at 4:28 PM
It turns out my love language is when things are solved without anyone needing my help.
We can talk about how ChatGPT is ruining the environment, etc. etc. OR we can talk about how it’s saving marriages.
@sarahbellum.bsky.social: why are you doing that?
Me: I did hours of research and this is the best way.
Her: Sounds suspect.
Her: why are you…
Me: ChatGPT told me to.
Her: OK.
@sarahbellum.bsky.social: why are you doing that?
Me: I did hours of research and this is the best way.
Her: Sounds suspect.
Her: why are you…
Me: ChatGPT told me to.
Her: OK.
July 19, 2025 at 8:42 PM
We can talk about how ChatGPT is ruining the environment, etc. etc. OR we can talk about how it’s saving marriages.
@sarahbellum.bsky.social: why are you doing that?
Me: I did hours of research and this is the best way.
Her: Sounds suspect.
Her: why are you…
Me: ChatGPT told me to.
Her: OK.
@sarahbellum.bsky.social: why are you doing that?
Me: I did hours of research and this is the best way.
Her: Sounds suspect.
Her: why are you…
Me: ChatGPT told me to.
Her: OK.
Part of growing as a human is knowing what your strengths are.
This morning I realized I’m not good at babysitting elderly dogs with zero bladder control.
You need a website? I’m your guy.
Need someone to watch your dog who shits itself? Probably not me.
This morning I realized I’m not good at babysitting elderly dogs with zero bladder control.
You need a website? I’m your guy.
Need someone to watch your dog who shits itself? Probably not me.
July 19, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Part of growing as a human is knowing what your strengths are.
This morning I realized I’m not good at babysitting elderly dogs with zero bladder control.
You need a website? I’m your guy.
Need someone to watch your dog who shits itself? Probably not me.
This morning I realized I’m not good at babysitting elderly dogs with zero bladder control.
You need a website? I’m your guy.
Need someone to watch your dog who shits itself? Probably not me.
July 16, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Look, I like nice things.
When I had a free first class international flight upgrade, I obviously took it.
The ridiculousness of this entire experience is almost unbearable.
I don’t need shrink wrapped slippers.
I don’t need you to drape a linen on me for dinner.
I just want wifi and sleep.
When I had a free first class international flight upgrade, I obviously took it.
The ridiculousness of this entire experience is almost unbearable.
I don’t need shrink wrapped slippers.
I don’t need you to drape a linen on me for dinner.
I just want wifi and sleep.
July 5, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Look, I like nice things.
When I had a free first class international flight upgrade, I obviously took it.
The ridiculousness of this entire experience is almost unbearable.
I don’t need shrink wrapped slippers.
I don’t need you to drape a linen on me for dinner.
I just want wifi and sleep.
When I had a free first class international flight upgrade, I obviously took it.
The ridiculousness of this entire experience is almost unbearable.
I don’t need shrink wrapped slippers.
I don’t need you to drape a linen on me for dinner.
I just want wifi and sleep.
Cuddling my child and dog tonight.
Being present in this moment.
Wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. Especially with the world outside being so scary ring now.
Being present in this moment.
Wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. Especially with the world outside being so scary ring now.
June 22, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Cuddling my child and dog tonight.
Being present in this moment.
Wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. Especially with the world outside being so scary ring now.
Being present in this moment.
Wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. Especially with the world outside being so scary ring now.
I think Joe and Kamala need to step up and take one for the team.
They agree to an *exclusive* Sean Hannity interview and say, “yeah, we’d bomb the shit out of Iran right now.”
They agree to an *exclusive* Sean Hannity interview and say, “yeah, we’d bomb the shit out of Iran right now.”
June 19, 2025 at 3:32 AM
I think Joe and Kamala need to step up and take one for the team.
They agree to an *exclusive* Sean Hannity interview and say, “yeah, we’d bomb the shit out of Iran right now.”
They agree to an *exclusive* Sean Hannity interview and say, “yeah, we’d bomb the shit out of Iran right now.”
I'm almost 44 years old and I just made my very first steak.
Getting old is fuckin' weird.
Getting old is fuckin' weird.
June 17, 2025 at 9:02 PM
I'm almost 44 years old and I just made my very first steak.
Getting old is fuckin' weird.
Getting old is fuckin' weird.
I can't decide if I hate humanity, but love humans.
Or, if I hate humans, but love humanity.
Or, if I hate humans, but love humanity.
June 11, 2025 at 5:04 PM
I can't decide if I hate humanity, but love humans.
Or, if I hate humans, but love humanity.
Or, if I hate humans, but love humanity.
My favorite part about scheduling Slack messages is that they make you look like a completely rational person and not a psycho workaholic.
…a rational person that always sends messages at *exactly* 9AM recipient time.
…a rational person that always sends messages at *exactly* 9AM recipient time.
May 30, 2025 at 1:27 PM
My favorite part about scheduling Slack messages is that they make you look like a completely rational person and not a psycho workaholic.
…a rational person that always sends messages at *exactly* 9AM recipient time.
…a rational person that always sends messages at *exactly* 9AM recipient time.