Mindy Bee
@mindybee.bsky.social
queer - she/her - autistic - ADHD - OCD - artist
Anyway, happy new same shit different day year, I guess.
January 1, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Anyway, happy new same shit different day year, I guess.
And more and more people fall away because they were only there in the first place for their own gain or entertainment, for what I could do for them, how I could be there for them.
I feel like friendship is largely a myth.
Or maybe it's just not meant for me.
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I feel like friendship is largely a myth.
Or maybe it's just not meant for me.
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January 1, 2026 at 5:05 PM
And more and more people fall away because they were only there in the first place for their own gain or entertainment, for what I could do for them, how I could be there for them.
I feel like friendship is largely a myth.
Or maybe it's just not meant for me.
+
I feel like friendship is largely a myth.
Or maybe it's just not meant for me.
+
Other than the small handful, no one reached out, no one checked on me, no one cared. That's not self-pity, y'all, that's observation of reality, that's my lived experience.
I engage less and less with loved ones and the world in general. I isolate more and more as the years go by.
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I engage less and less with loved ones and the world in general. I isolate more and more as the years go by.
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January 1, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Other than the small handful, no one reached out, no one checked on me, no one cared. That's not self-pity, y'all, that's observation of reality, that's my lived experience.
I engage less and less with loved ones and the world in general. I isolate more and more as the years go by.
+
I engage less and less with loved ones and the world in general. I isolate more and more as the years go by.
+
There are maybe 8 people on this planet who would be impacted by my absence. That's it.
And I unfortunately proved this to myself in 2025.
I kinda disappeared for large periods of time and, up on reappearance, fewer and fewer people re-engaged when I peeked out of my self-isolation.
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And I unfortunately proved this to myself in 2025.
I kinda disappeared for large periods of time and, up on reappearance, fewer and fewer people re-engaged when I peeked out of my self-isolation.
+
January 1, 2026 at 5:05 PM
There are maybe 8 people on this planet who would be impacted by my absence. That's it.
And I unfortunately proved this to myself in 2025.
I kinda disappeared for large periods of time and, up on reappearance, fewer and fewer people re-engaged when I peeked out of my self-isolation.
+
And I unfortunately proved this to myself in 2025.
I kinda disappeared for large periods of time and, up on reappearance, fewer and fewer people re-engaged when I peeked out of my self-isolation.
+
And yet, it's never enough. I am so fucking sick of arguing my self-worth with myself, arguing with intrusive thoughts about whether or not the world would be better off without me.
I. Know. It. Wouldn't. Be.
For like 6 people, at least.
But that's it, really. That's the reality.
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I. Know. It. Wouldn't. Be.
For like 6 people, at least.
But that's it, really. That's the reality.
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January 1, 2026 at 5:05 PM
And yet, it's never enough. I am so fucking sick of arguing my self-worth with myself, arguing with intrusive thoughts about whether or not the world would be better off without me.
I. Know. It. Wouldn't. Be.
For like 6 people, at least.
But that's it, really. That's the reality.
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I. Know. It. Wouldn't. Be.
For like 6 people, at least.
But that's it, really. That's the reality.
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If I had terminal cancer, I couldn't go to therapy and talk my way out of it, and this is what that feels like, like my whole brain is a cancer and there's no talking your way out of that.
Besides, I've talked and talked and talked, for decades. I have developed more tools than I can list.
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Besides, I've talked and talked and talked, for decades. I have developed more tools than I can list.
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January 1, 2026 at 5:05 PM
If I had terminal cancer, I couldn't go to therapy and talk my way out of it, and this is what that feels like, like my whole brain is a cancer and there's no talking your way out of that.
Besides, I've talked and talked and talked, for decades. I have developed more tools than I can list.
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Besides, I've talked and talked and talked, for decades. I have developed more tools than I can list.
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I'm not okay and I'm not feeling optimistic about anything, new year or otherwise. I'm deeply depressed and I don't want to talk about it, not to anyone, not a therapist or a friend or even myself.
Because I know it's not real. I know that it's all a lie in my brain.
Talking doesn't help.
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Because I know it's not real. I know that it's all a lie in my brain.
Talking doesn't help.
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January 1, 2026 at 5:05 PM
I'm not okay and I'm not feeling optimistic about anything, new year or otherwise. I'm deeply depressed and I don't want to talk about it, not to anyone, not a therapist or a friend or even myself.
Because I know it's not real. I know that it's all a lie in my brain.
Talking doesn't help.
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Because I know it's not real. I know that it's all a lie in my brain.
Talking doesn't help.
+
This is why I wanna be cremated. I don't want nobody looking at me after I'm gone except for whoever slides that slab into the incinerator.
I've only been to a couple of open casket funerals in my life and every one of them was more traumatic than the actual loss of the loved one.
I've only been to a couple of open casket funerals in my life and every one of them was more traumatic than the actual loss of the loved one.
January 1, 2026 at 3:41 PM
This is why I wanna be cremated. I don't want nobody looking at me after I'm gone except for whoever slides that slab into the incinerator.
I've only been to a couple of open casket funerals in my life and every one of them was more traumatic than the actual loss of the loved one.
I've only been to a couple of open casket funerals in my life and every one of them was more traumatic than the actual loss of the loved one.
"Meet them where they're at"
Be for fucking real, they are at a KKK meeting and we aren't meeting them there, that's for fucking sure.
And to play like there are whites on the planet today that are unaware of white privilege and racism is the most infantilizing horseshit ever. They're fully aware.
Be for fucking real, they are at a KKK meeting and we aren't meeting them there, that's for fucking sure.
And to play like there are whites on the planet today that are unaware of white privilege and racism is the most infantilizing horseshit ever. They're fully aware.
December 27, 2025 at 7:42 PM
"Meet them where they're at"
Be for fucking real, they are at a KKK meeting and we aren't meeting them there, that's for fucking sure.
And to play like there are whites on the planet today that are unaware of white privilege and racism is the most infantilizing horseshit ever. They're fully aware.
Be for fucking real, they are at a KKK meeting and we aren't meeting them there, that's for fucking sure.
And to play like there are whites on the planet today that are unaware of white privilege and racism is the most infantilizing horseshit ever. They're fully aware.
I can think of several people I would describe that way 😂
December 27, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I can think of several people I would describe that way 😂
I don't have to imagine it and yes, it is. I wanted to be around my grandma all the time... except for when there was a sportsball game on the TV and more than one male family member present. No, thank you, hard pass.
I can't watch any of the big 3 sportsballs to this day without anxiety.
I can't watch any of the big 3 sportsballs to this day without anxiety.
December 27, 2025 at 7:36 PM
I don't have to imagine it and yes, it is. I wanted to be around my grandma all the time... except for when there was a sportsball game on the TV and more than one male family member present. No, thank you, hard pass.
I can't watch any of the big 3 sportsballs to this day without anxiety.
I can't watch any of the big 3 sportsballs to this day without anxiety.
I can't get over anyone blaming this on a football game.
This man was a murderer before the game took place. He has been like this all along and I guarantee there were a thousand signs from day one, red flags that we're taught to ignore and overlook as just, you know, boys being boys.
This man was a murderer before the game took place. He has been like this all along and I guarantee there were a thousand signs from day one, red flags that we're taught to ignore and overlook as just, you know, boys being boys.
December 27, 2025 at 7:33 PM
I can't get over anyone blaming this on a football game.
This man was a murderer before the game took place. He has been like this all along and I guarantee there were a thousand signs from day one, red flags that we're taught to ignore and overlook as just, you know, boys being boys.
This man was a murderer before the game took place. He has been like this all along and I guarantee there were a thousand signs from day one, red flags that we're taught to ignore and overlook as just, you know, boys being boys.
How could a mother possibly be a doormat for a kid who never speaks to or visits them?
I have 3 kids and 1 of them doesn't talk to me.
Hi, it's me, I'm the problem.
It doesn't feel awesome but there it is. I am the opposite of a doormat.
If only I were a doormat.
I have 3 kids and 1 of them doesn't talk to me.
Hi, it's me, I'm the problem.
It doesn't feel awesome but there it is. I am the opposite of a doormat.
If only I were a doormat.
December 17, 2025 at 2:14 AM
How could a mother possibly be a doormat for a kid who never speaks to or visits them?
I have 3 kids and 1 of them doesn't talk to me.
Hi, it's me, I'm the problem.
It doesn't feel awesome but there it is. I am the opposite of a doormat.
If only I were a doormat.
I have 3 kids and 1 of them doesn't talk to me.
Hi, it's me, I'm the problem.
It doesn't feel awesome but there it is. I am the opposite of a doormat.
If only I were a doormat.
Somehow I don't think that it's loving children too much that causes them to turn out like people who say shit like that, but I'm no expert 🤔
December 17, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Somehow I don't think that it's loving children too much that causes them to turn out like people who say shit like that, but I'm no expert 🤔
Almost made me spray tea out my nose, thanks for that 😂
December 17, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Almost made me spray tea out my nose, thanks for that 😂
This has been my dream for a long, long time.
December 17, 2025 at 2:04 AM
This has been my dream for a long, long time.
It's very long. My therapist at the time was useless and uninterested. All he had to teach me was pseudoscience horseshit, like tapping on my face in the grocery store line to combat anxiety 🙄
The more I think about it, the more glaringly obvious it is to me, but... You know, imposter syndrome 😭
The more I think about it, the more glaringly obvious it is to me, but... You know, imposter syndrome 😭
December 5, 2025 at 3:05 PM
It's very long. My therapist at the time was useless and uninterested. All he had to teach me was pseudoscience horseshit, like tapping on my face in the grocery store line to combat anxiety 🙄
The more I think about it, the more glaringly obvious it is to me, but... You know, imposter syndrome 😭
The more I think about it, the more glaringly obvious it is to me, but... You know, imposter syndrome 😭
Excellent, thank you so much, I will do some googling around and have a look at it. I have a tiny idea what to expect as this is the same place that conducted my ADHD and bipolar evals. I have no living relatives to comment on my super autistic childhood. Some years ago, I started a symptom list...
December 5, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Excellent, thank you so much, I will do some googling around and have a look at it. I have a tiny idea what to expect as this is the same place that conducted my ADHD and bipolar evals. I have no living relatives to comment on my super autistic childhood. Some years ago, I started a symptom list...
I'm inclined to go with the 2nd option. The idea that someone could feel for me the way I feel for them is horrifying, please, do not put those expectations on me, I will not stay the same, I will not always be this person you think is too important to lose. The shiny will wear off.
December 5, 2025 at 3:00 PM
I'm inclined to go with the 2nd option. The idea that someone could feel for me the way I feel for them is horrifying, please, do not put those expectations on me, I will not stay the same, I will not always be this person you think is too important to lose. The shiny will wear off.
I've been in this mental space for decades, it's fine, we're fine. We don't need them to 'get' it because we have each other 😂
December 5, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I've been in this mental space for decades, it's fine, we're fine. We don't need them to 'get' it because we have each other 😂
I have my evals scheduled, intake at the end of February and full evaluation 2 weeks later. Are they gonna give me this test? Should I study? 😂
But seriously, should I? I have no idea what to expect and I'm kinda terrified.
But seriously, should I? I have no idea what to expect and I'm kinda terrified.
December 5, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I have my evals scheduled, intake at the end of February and full evaluation 2 weeks later. Are they gonna give me this test? Should I study? 😂
But seriously, should I? I have no idea what to expect and I'm kinda terrified.
But seriously, should I? I have no idea what to expect and I'm kinda terrified.
Oops, just made essentially the same comment before reading the comments 😂
You win, beat me by 22 minutes 🤭
You win, beat me by 22 minutes 🤭
December 5, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Oops, just made essentially the same comment before reading the comments 😂
You win, beat me by 22 minutes 🤭
You win, beat me by 22 minutes 🤭