I wish someone would genuinely care. Check in on me, make sure I'm okay, be there for me, while not making me feel like I'm a burden or a chore to exist around. I just want to mean something to someone, as who I am rather than what I can provide for them.

The last signs of life are on the horizon. Fading back, folding back into the earth.

God, I looked to you to help, and I didn't get any help, I didn't see any God.
And I see no thoughts, no looks, no praise.

I scream and scream to everything and everyone I know for help, only to get milquetoast dismissive replies and glares.

No matter where I go, who I talk to, I'm just a ghost. A phantom. I fleeting memory soon to be relegated to null. I can't stand this loneliness. A bitter and rotting hole boring through me. What am I? Am I nothing? Am I even a person?

I tried for so long to get my art out into the world, I tried so hard to carve out my own place somewhere. Nowhere to belong. No one to listen. Nothing. There's nothing left inside.

I don't think I've genuinely felt such profound loneliness before.

I scar my body
Like a good boy
It takes practice at self abuse