I am not running away anymore. I am finally taking a pause and realizing how I feel when I am still. It helps me to put it into words on here. I guess that I could just use a journal, but then I would not receive such lovely comments

I might be saying the quiet part out loud

I appreciate the kindness and care people gave me, but this is not going to do what I keep wanting it to do. I did the best that I knew how to do at the time. Now I am reaching the point where it is clear that I am the only person who can change me

The very way that I thought about findom made me approach it more like therapy then as kink. I never liked the sexual or fetish aspects of it. That created problems. I was unknowingly hoping that Others would fix me. That was never a fair thing for me to put on Them

There is nothing wrong with Your English, I was simply interested in having You expand on Your thoughts.

I suffer from a number of mental health issues and findom has been a way of trying to negotiate between my internal conflicts. Sexual gratification was never my goal

Long trips are getting harder at my age, so I understand your concern

I find it funny how findom people are always trying to talk people out of leaving

Who is that behind You?

I am curious about what kind of "grounding" You think is useful for getting involved in kink

No kink can give me what I really want, but it is safe and I can do it in private. As a paypig, I don't even need to risk my body

Kink is the secret temper tantrum I am throwing because I am not brave enough to take what I really want

Being a paypig was a kind of revolt against a life in which I don't feel comfortable. The problem is that I know that it is not a real solution. I am a coward. That is my real problem