We'll see. Maybe I'll feel differently about it all tomorrow.

But that's the beauty of a space for myself. It can be whatever I need it to be.

So, I'm adding this new account for that. To practice throwing my voice against the wall and reminding myself that that's ok.

I've got spaces for professional contacts, friends and family, creative inspiration - but none just for me.

There's no message I want to transmit across the airwaves - and I don't even necessarily miss the sound of my own voice.

I just miss who I used to be when I was free enough to share it.

But now for me - as I watch my homeland fall apart, as I see our ecosystems harvested for material gain, as countries are destroyed because we deny the value of a human life - being afraid to express myself is no longer an option. I want to find - and use - my voice.

It went the other way. I stayed quiet. I stopped using my voice at all.

Social media was no longer social, it was just passive consumption.

The creativity I had for html coding, or curating image collections, or snapping photos got pushed down. Set aside.

What started as wisdom turned into fear.

And truly, I thank God for that. Because of that moment of divine reflection, I never got pulled into any SM rat races. No moments of trying to make my voice the loudest or most likeable or shiniest or whatever the voice of the day is.

I was NOT a very street-smart young adult, so this flash of wisdom felt like it came from a place higher than me. Perhaps even God.

In that moment, I realized: no, I don't want to play this game.

It wasn't until instagram though that I started thinking of SM impact on me.

As I started taking cooler and cooler pictures for Instagram - one day I had a alarmingly wise thought "sure, you can take some great photos now - but do you want to get caught in this race?"

In early university, I was an early beta tester for pinterest, and used facebook to stay in touch when I moved away.

For me, social media was this fabulous salad dressing that brought everything together. There was still crunch and flavor, but SM added a beautiful layer of connection to life.

I grew up in the social media golden period.

As a young teen, I used instant messenger for awkward small talk and fueling my fomo.

In highschool, I taught myself code to create html layouts for myspace. (I still remember the day a friend called my house to say they liked my profile song.)

As I add another username to my collection - I asked myself "Why?" Why am I doing this to myself? Is this what my ancestors dreamed of?" (God, I hope not.)