@morganpulitzer.bsky.social
Dr. Oz’s updated advice about alcohol consumption in a nutshell:
January 8, 2026 at 9:52 PM
Dr. Oz’s updated advice about alcohol consumption in a nutshell:
Americans right now:
a man in a military uniform says are we the baddies
ALT: a man in a military uniform says are we the baddies
media.tenor.com
January 7, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Americans right now:
Reposted
At this point I’ll just believe any anniversary. The Breakfast Club came out 40 years ago? Okay. Princess Bride turns 55 next year? Sounds plausible. It’s Grease’s 80th anniversary? Sure, we’re all old as hell, that makes sense.
December 1, 2025 at 2:12 PM
At this point I’ll just believe any anniversary. The Breakfast Club came out 40 years ago? Okay. Princess Bride turns 55 next year? Sounds plausible. It’s Grease’s 80th anniversary? Sure, we’re all old as hell, that makes sense.
Me trying to get ChatGPT to give me the results I want:
October 16, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Me trying to get ChatGPT to give me the results I want:
Saying slavery taught black people job skills is like saying Jeffrey Epstein taught those girls customer service skills.
September 29, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Saying slavery taught black people job skills is like saying Jeffrey Epstein taught those girls customer service skills.
Reposted
This week’s Just for Skeets and Giggles is out! Have a great weekend. open.substack.com/pub/statusku...
September 27, 2025 at 3:19 PM
This week’s Just for Skeets and Giggles is out! Have a great weekend. open.substack.com/pub/statusku...
Kash Patel when asked too many questions about the Epstein Files:
a man in a black shirt is singing la la la la la la la la la la .
ALT: a man in a black shirt is singing la la la la la la la la la la .
media.tenor.com
September 18, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Kash Patel when asked too many questions about the Epstein Files:
Reposted
How much of a cunt do you have to be to shit on Tom Hanks?
September 7, 2025 at 6:13 AM
How much of a cunt do you have to be to shit on Tom Hanks?
Me when I learn the rumors of Trump’s passing are just that - rumors.
a man is standing in the rain and saying `` don 't give me hope '' .
ALT: a man is standing in the rain and saying `` don 't give me hope '' .
media.tenor.com
August 30, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Me when I learn the rumors of Trump’s passing are just that - rumors.
Let us all take a moment to appreciate the irony of Donald Trump re-establishing the Presidential Fitness Test.
August 1, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Let us all take a moment to appreciate the irony of Donald Trump re-establishing the Presidential Fitness Test.
Texas, you need to take things out of Cruz control, because it’s not getting you anywhere.
July 9, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Texas, you need to take things out of Cruz control, because it’s not getting you anywhere.
Can the Republicans in Washington D.C. please get some big, beautiful balls?
July 4, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Can the Republicans in Washington D.C. please get some big, beautiful balls?
Trump: So, Iran, you’re totally going to do what I tell you to and you’re not going to develop any more nuclear weapons, right?
Iran:
Iran:
a man in a king 's costume says would i lie
ALT: a man in a king 's costume says would i lie
media.tenor.com
June 26, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Trump: So, Iran, you’re totally going to do what I tell you to and you’re not going to develop any more nuclear weapons, right?
Iran:
Iran:
When I was in Ireland, I witnessed someone being scammed out of their money by a diminutive man faking a horrible skin disease.
To this day, nobody believes me when I tell them I spotted a leper con.
To this day, nobody believes me when I tell them I spotted a leper con.
June 11, 2025 at 1:37 PM
When I was in Ireland, I witnessed someone being scammed out of their money by a diminutive man faking a horrible skin disease.
To this day, nobody believes me when I tell them I spotted a leper con.
To this day, nobody believes me when I tell them I spotted a leper con.
@randyrainbow.bsky.social I truly hope you’re working on a new song for the Trump/Musk breakup. Maybe something in the vein of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”?
June 6, 2025 at 6:47 PM
@randyrainbow.bsky.social I truly hope you’re working on a new song for the Trump/Musk breakup. Maybe something in the vein of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”?
You know the scene in Toy Story when Woody pretends to be Hannah’s mom and calls her name so he can get Hannah away from Buzz/Mrs. Nesbitt?
I like to imagine Hannah walking downstairs and then her actual mother pulling her aside and saying, “Don’t go downstairs; I heard it, too.”
I like to imagine Hannah walking downstairs and then her actual mother pulling her aside and saying, “Don’t go downstairs; I heard it, too.”
May 28, 2025 at 1:15 PM
You know the scene in Toy Story when Woody pretends to be Hannah’s mom and calls her name so he can get Hannah away from Buzz/Mrs. Nesbitt?
I like to imagine Hannah walking downstairs and then her actual mother pulling her aside and saying, “Don’t go downstairs; I heard it, too.”
I like to imagine Hannah walking downstairs and then her actual mother pulling her aside and saying, “Don’t go downstairs; I heard it, too.”
My new performing arts idea -
Dis-Missives: Rap battles done in the style of letters, emails, and other communiqués.
Dis-Missives: Rap battles done in the style of letters, emails, and other communiqués.
May 17, 2025 at 2:08 PM
My new performing arts idea -
Dis-Missives: Rap battles done in the style of letters, emails, and other communiqués.
Dis-Missives: Rap battles done in the style of letters, emails, and other communiqués.
Reposted
The new Pope is American. You know what that means:
Supersized hosts!
Supersized hosts!
May 8, 2025 at 5:41 PM
The new Pope is American. You know what that means:
Supersized hosts!
Supersized hosts!
Reposted
I like when they call it the “papal conclave,” avoids confusion. Bro which conclave are you even talking about? Oh the PAPAL conclave.
May 5, 2025 at 8:54 PM
I like when they call it the “papal conclave,” avoids confusion. Bro which conclave are you even talking about? Oh the PAPAL conclave.
Pope Pompous I
May 3, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Pope Pompous I
I just keep wanting to sing “Coooooonclaaaave!” at the top of my lungs a la the song “Conquest” by Corky Robbins (and covered by Patti Page and The White Stripes).
April 22, 2025 at 8:38 PM
I just keep wanting to sing “Coooooonclaaaave!” at the top of my lungs a la the song “Conquest” by Corky Robbins (and covered by Patti Page and The White Stripes).
About to enjoy a refreshing El Salvador Margarita.
April 18, 2025 at 11:16 PM
About to enjoy a refreshing El Salvador Margarita.
News Outlets: The stock market is crashing because of Trump’s tariffs!!!
Economists (and anyone with a working brain cell):
Economists (and anyone with a working brain cell):
April 7, 2025 at 2:22 PM
News Outlets: The stock market is crashing because of Trump’s tariffs!!!
Economists (and anyone with a working brain cell):
Economists (and anyone with a working brain cell):