This is exactly why I wrote an escapist trans femme romance novel this fall! I needed to be internalizing that kind of trans and queer joy as an antidote to The Horrors™️.

Yes! And let's not underestimate muffing (especially post-orchi muffing) in trans femme erotica! Them inguinal canals are begging for love!

The trade off is that I can sit down & write a book in a few months because I can recognize that something in my mind needs to write a book. I can produce new music to a level of quality that eluded me for decades! By reclaiming cognitive bandwidth from masking I've maximized the things I'm best at!

Am I as "together" or as "organized" as I used to appear to be? No, because I'm not masking my struggles as much anymore. My disability & dysfunction are more evident than they used to be, but I'm also not taking untold amounts of psychic damage trying to pass myself of abled in some specific ways.

And yet I was a bundle of self hatred and disappointment and "unfulfilled potential" for decades because I thought I needed to function a neurotypical person. Giving myself permission to embrace my particular strengths and be gentler with my weaknesses has allowed me to grow so much as a creator!

Like, right now my arm is in a splint, and I'm not beating myself up about struggling with 2 hand tasks. I'm not opening any pickle jars while I heal from surgery. I doubt anyone would expect me to "suck it up" and go about daily tasks as if I didn't have a bunch of stitches I'd rather not tear.

This isn't "glorifying a disability", it's celebrating self awareness. I'm not using my disability as an excuse for my failures, but i have changed my expectations of what I should be able to reasonably do. It's ableist to expect a neurodivergent mind to operate according to neurotypical rules.

Realizing I was autistic gave me further access to language and community that transformed how I understand myself in the world. The amount I'd internalized my neurodivergence as a personal failing had caused so much harm to me: diagnosis was a gift because I could let go of that self loathing.

I really enjoy the process of taking a drawing from doodle to something more finished. This one started pretty rough and I'm very happy with how it evolved as I inked and painted it.

This is made with homemade black walnut ink, that we sell online! It's one of my absolute favorite mediums to work in!

www.cauldronfirestudios.com

Part of how my anarchy manifests is a belief that a good thing externally compelled loses value. Someone compelled to care for me means less than someone choosing to care for me. Coercion can keep a large group of people acting against their sincere impulses, but it cannot get them to mean it.

Thank you!🙏🥰🙏

Hi Revy, I'm a trans writer, composer, musician,audio drama creator, and poet. I'd love to be included in this pack!
Just finished my first novel!
www.scribblehub.com/series/17665...

Aw, I'm glad to hear it!

Heck. I'm so sorry you want through that! Sending hugs if they are welcome.

Yes! The thumb release surgery at least has a 99% success rate, which are pretty great odds!