Mr. Salamander
@mr-salamander.bsky.social
(Or took a dip in a sulphuric acid jacuzzi [*ALLEGEDLY*].)
February 11, 2026 at 2:49 PM
(Or took a dip in a sulphuric acid jacuzzi [*ALLEGEDLY*].)
(Unless I.C.E revoked your priority boarding privilege— or if you're, you know, kidnapped by traffickers/federal agents.)
February 11, 2026 at 2:46 PM
(Unless I.C.E revoked your priority boarding privilege— or if you're, you know, kidnapped by traffickers/federal agents.)
It's cool, y'all. Anyone can fly in here now.
February 11, 2026 at 2:39 PM
It's cool, y'all. Anyone can fly in here now.
"Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."
How was he the best candidate? Oh, yeah, he ran against an even worse one: Cindy Chavez. Thankfully, the door that hit her rear upon exit sent her to be a mediocre politician out-of-state.
It's up to us to fix this.
How was he the best candidate? Oh, yeah, he ran against an even worse one: Cindy Chavez. Thankfully, the door that hit her rear upon exit sent her to be a mediocre politician out-of-state.
It's up to us to fix this.
February 11, 2026 at 8:25 AM
"Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."
How was he the best candidate? Oh, yeah, he ran against an even worse one: Cindy Chavez. Thankfully, the door that hit her rear upon exit sent her to be a mediocre politician out-of-state.
It's up to us to fix this.
How was he the best candidate? Oh, yeah, he ran against an even worse one: Cindy Chavez. Thankfully, the door that hit her rear upon exit sent her to be a mediocre politician out-of-state.
It's up to us to fix this.
Also, if you're a tech CEO who hasn't actually finished one term in a political role, why should we hire you to govern one of the world's strongest economies? Seems like not a good cultural fit.
February 11, 2026 at 12:35 AM
Also, if you're a tech CEO who hasn't actually finished one term in a political role, why should we hire you to govern one of the world's strongest economies? Seems like not a good cultural fit.
Enshitification is a weapon. Stand your ground!
February 10, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Enshitification is a weapon. Stand your ground!
They do this to themselves every time. If only "Schadenfreude" were a Wagner opera...
February 9, 2026 at 7:04 AM
They do this to themselves every time. If only "Schadenfreude" were a Wagner opera...
I was thinking the same thing, but the kid's been through too much already. On the other hand, the community out here would make sure he and his family felt loved, protected, and full of the best comfort food we share with each other!
February 8, 2026 at 4:02 PM
I was thinking the same thing, but the kid's been through too much already. On the other hand, the community out here would make sure he and his family felt loved, protected, and full of the best comfort food we share with each other!
Word on the street is that Bad Bunny's going to have Colin Kaepernick make an appearance at the halftime show!
February 8, 2026 at 2:53 PM
Word on the street is that Bad Bunny's going to have Colin Kaepernick make an appearance at the halftime show!
But I wish him the best in his future endeavors (in a prison run by robots).
February 5, 2026 at 5:38 AM
But I wish him the best in his future endeavors (in a prison run by robots).
He's just — not smart.
February 5, 2026 at 5:36 AM
He's just — not smart.
I was amazed (and thankful) when I heard several folks bust up laughing.
August 3, 2025 at 4:19 AM
I was amazed (and thankful) when I heard several folks bust up laughing.
My favorite memory of being the best man at a wedding was when the MC (quite a character) announced just before the wedding party were the Von Trapp Family Singers. After several awkward seconds of nothing happening, I ran out from behind the stage curtain and exclaimed, "They're gone!"
August 3, 2025 at 4:17 AM
My favorite memory of being the best man at a wedding was when the MC (quite a character) announced just before the wedding party were the Von Trapp Family Singers. After several awkward seconds of nothing happening, I ran out from behind the stage curtain and exclaimed, "They're gone!"
(But mostly for being a Nazi.)
August 3, 2025 at 4:03 AM
(But mostly for being a Nazi.)
People often think I'm joking when I mention the Nazis being the main antagonists in that movie. The biggest reason, I think, is that Maria never punches Rolf in the face for being a Nazi and lusting after Liesl ("Sixteen Going on Seventeen").
August 3, 2025 at 4:02 AM
People often think I'm joking when I mention the Nazis being the main antagonists in that movie. The biggest reason, I think, is that Maria never punches Rolf in the face for being a Nazi and lusting after Liesl ("Sixteen Going on Seventeen").
Really? Iwould've imagined you more as an ear worm guy. "Staple Head" is incredibly catchy!
July 31, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Really? Iwould've imagined you more as an ear worm guy. "Staple Head" is incredibly catchy!
"Dude! Don't diss pedo-bro-code!" ‐DJTACO
July 30, 2025 at 12:15 PM
"Dude! Don't diss pedo-bro-code!" ‐DJTACO
And yet, Trump never sees his B.M.'s; others clean up after him.
July 28, 2025 at 12:09 AM
And yet, Trump never sees his B.M.'s; others clean up after him.
Shortly thereafter on her way to the window, she added, "AIEEEEEeeeeeeeee..!"
July 28, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Shortly thereafter on her way to the window, she added, "AIEEEEEeeeeeeeee..!"
All Nazis — *especially* Alt-Right 2.0 "Not actually a Nazi" creepy cosplayers — deserve a punch in the face!
July 27, 2025 at 11:30 PM
All Nazis — *especially* Alt-Right 2.0 "Not actually a Nazi" creepy cosplayers — deserve a punch in the face!
I'm sure Jack Chick saw the two-issue tract arc, "The Beast"/"A Love Story" as a "What If?" homage to Deadpool and Wolverine and Jesus.
July 27, 2025 at 8:14 AM
I'm sure Jack Chick saw the two-issue tract arc, "The Beast"/"A Love Story" as a "What If?" homage to Deadpool and Wolverine and Jesus.
Didn't the Rolling Stones have both of the hits, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" and "Sympathy for the Devil"? I wonder if...?
Never mind! Subtlety is lost on the damned!
Never mind! Subtlety is lost on the damned!
July 23, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Didn't the Rolling Stones have both of the hits, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" and "Sympathy for the Devil"? I wonder if...?
Never mind! Subtlety is lost on the damned!
Never mind! Subtlety is lost on the damned!
Speaking of babies: Epstein liked them almost as much as Donald!
July 23, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Speaking of babies: Epstein liked them almost as much as Donald!