You know, Hulk hogan doesn't seem so bad! I mean, sure, he got a bit testy when he found out his daughter had a black boyfriend, but come on, who hasn't?! He said he and his white friends in Tampa grew up saying the n-word to each other, like a greeting, so please forgive him!

You're doing it wrong. You need a leg warmer.

The camera angle makes it look like you are drinking a gallon glass of margaritas... at least that's the story I'm going with.

Thank you, Santa!

Once you go elf, it's two on a shelf.

I'm surprised he didn't tell the story about the woman who was told to put the lime in the coconut.

I'm a lawyer: that's not even a brief yet, it's only a draft of a memo.

Just wait until your doc prescribes Enbiggyn (shortifynfixerlat HCL), the new wonder drug that can restore your lost inches! Side effects include, well, the list is pretty long and awful... Explosive burning diarrhea is the least awful...

I was unaware that there were idiots who worship trump in Wales! Lord help you!

Wrong! This is the exact center of the universe!

Just as long as they also refuse take up an ICU bed if they get seriously ill from COVID-19, then we are cool.

Natalie Wood's facial expression when first talking to Santa! I got that from women all thru high school and college! I love her!

Crap! Is it too late to throw in some of MY legal fees, you know, to get money off that idiot putin employee who is probably Q?!

This is the way.

Those white boots disqualified him.

I'm a lawyer and fluent in English. Fox has already booked me to report on the situation, despite my lack of the other requirements...