i just feel. eh. Useless. I want to put things out but i know i cant (or should). Sleep ti away i shall, forget it i will and. Idk im just daoogogidjdjfjfjjfj i frel. Ughggthhhhh stupid stupid stupid stupid

Not about anything specific in particular. Just. Thinking. I just cant. I know im a hyper emotionally sensitive person, so i cant just dump everything i feel onto the next person. I have to stay calm and level headed and be the straightman and be the one to be. Responsible. I guess, i guess

then i wait for the right time. But is there one? I dont think so... then i have to force myself and forget. move on! its not important anyway. It never was. It never is. I need to steel myself in case something important actually happens. Train of thought, how i live

I dont let myself say im upset or annoyed or angry or any negative emotion. at least not easily. i cant, because if i do, it always feels like i want pity points. im manipulating. its not venting but a pity show instead. look at me, how upset i am. woe is me

[metroid]