Film companies should hire me to write #subtitles for all their movies. I’m so sick of inaccurate subtitles.

It’s embarrassing how easily I could be a 3 monitor person. My #adhd ass needs to see everything at once. But it seems so fucking dorky to want more computer.

Just did 35 minutes on my walking pad while watching the first episode of #Shrinking. Fuck you depression.

Seriously #GoogleMaps?! How does Trump’s asshole taste?

Chugging Gatorade for my colonoscopy prep. It tastes like sweat mixed with lacroix. And there are people who willingly drink this shit?!

I don’t even watch the #superbowl, I just needed to see those Trump ass-kissers get fucked.

Woomp there it is! Republicans are declaring a war on American values.

#ChappellRoan and #LadyGaga standing up for trans people and trans rights last night at the #GrammyAwards was 👩‍🍳😘 - everyone should use their platform for good.

Not even 8 am and I’m already hearing people complain about #Beyonce winning best country album. “She’s not even country” - ok bitch but the album is, and it’s a fucking good album. Just say you’re racist/think black people can’t do country and move on.

I know I’m not the first to say this, but we really need 3 day weekends. One day for r&r, one for chores, and one for fun stuff. 5 day work weeks with only 48 hours in between is soooo not sustainable.

Watching #TwinPeaks as God and #DavidLynch intended: high off my tits.

Marking the start of #blackhistorymonth with very relevant words from #MalcolmX

If there is one thing to know about me, it’s this.