own fucking kid lol. Like I have SO MANY ingerests man, but you don't care to learn and never cared to meet me half way socially. Shit just sucks, and I am rambling

hope my friends got shit they liked and have/had a good Christmas, they deserve it

this year tbh. Which part of me feels guilty for but also? Idk man. I am kinda tired of putting thought, time, and effort, and getting nothing back. And any gift they got me the few years prior to just stopping all together was shit I liked 10 years ago, showing that they really dgaf to know their+

(also wanna note its not exactly not being gifted shit alone thats the issue. It's the fact that every other year I made something and bought something relating to my parents interests and they would get me nothing and sometimes only get my sister stuff. It just hurts to see and I got them nothing+

I will be lucky to get.. anything? Really, and my entire family feels so distant and it SUCKS

not saying this to have people NOT tell me what they got btw, im glad ur getting shit! But god the holidays just make me so depressed reminding me I am not loved at home lol shit sucks

Raha_rajah (person who made my pfp) PLEASE keep ur comms open, ur the like only fucking one who hasn't disappointed me yet.

-their commissions are never even fucking open

or some bull shit happens, pretty much every MD comm I have gotten I have been disappointed w/ the quality or they just refund me after less than a month and I want to kms

yes my external hardrive is named "Gayass Driver"

yeah sure *mwah*

TLDR: this is me if you even care.. (you don't, you don't gaf and you are judging me harshly rn)

Was I destined to find this fuck ass robot character someday in my life. BRO WHAT IF I NEVER WATCHED THIS FUCK ASS SHOW. Its SO WEIRD how she like perfectly fits weird feelings I have had for DECADES now. Its SO bizarre. Idk how to feel abt it.

me is I have these.. weird feelings with my eyes. Specifically my left eye. Feeling like it can do weird swooping motions or change or shit like that. This one I had 0 fucking idea about. Not a damn clue. But now ALL OF THIS feels like its just fucking Uzi shit

I didn't feel particularly connected to any animal that has wings fictional or real. So I just assumed it was a strong wish to have wings. Though now looking at how much I resonate with Uzi Doorman.. it's weird that she not only has wings.. she has a tail and another thing that is a minor thing abt

I had phantom limbs for my entire life, including childhood (when I didn't really had any idea what that meant) but one thing I didn't mention (well two) was that I always felt like I had phantom wings. I never really talked about it for a few reasons. Mainly that I had no idea wtf that meant lol

to deserve being treated the way I was and have. This isn't even bringing up just blatant abuse they did to me. This is JUST bringing up the neglect aspects...

my car taken away due to insurance going up because my SISTER kept getting into car crashes, they offered to help my sister with college funds but were not willing to lift a finger for me. Like? Idk man, it's hard not to say it's my fault but I legit do not understand what I did wrong in childhood+

with my sister too. Or if it's just me they despise. It hurt really bad that they gave up on me and gave me 0 chance in anything. They bought my sister multiple cars and barely got me one, they never made time for my permit time I needed and I barely got a license, they threatened to have me get +

to things for me as a kid (to the point teachers got mad at me), they gave up on me instantly when (as far as behavior goes) I really wasn't that badly behaved asides grades. And so much more.. Like idk man, it baffles me, I really don't know what I did wrong. I wish I knew if they were this bad +