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Pizza Las Vegas

@muyrando.bsky.social

2.8K followers 600 following 2.1K posts

This is a joke account. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iuhhxvswn7mk2zvgokarrofi/lists/3lbdsmcyrhl2h

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · Jan 5

*discovery of potatoes*
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 4d

a man with a mustache says " touche " in white letters

ALT: a man with a mustache says " touche " in white letters

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 4d

Why do some people always run late and why do you already know I'm talking about a woman?

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

*moves around*

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 6d

You should have a little snack

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 6d

If I was sweatpants, I wonder what word would be written across my butt 🤔

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𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 🕯️ @warmyellowlight.bsky.social · 6d

i have a jumping spider in my bedroom and a regular house spider in my bathroom and the bathroom spider has shared a shower with me a few times now. we will fall in love soon probably

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 6d

Wearing a apron backwards like a superhero cape. Who needs saving today.

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · Aug 8

Always wear black to therapy to prove you can't be helped.

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

Thank you kindly, Ash.

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 6d

You can do anything as long as you’re willing to try it over and over and over again

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 6d

Dear Diary,

Fuck you

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

Lol

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

*thinks straight*

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AL 🔪🔪🔪 @graybirches.bsky.social · 6d

A single leafless tree late at night, brightly lit from one side, which casts a dark and intense shadow behind.

Many leafless trees fading away into darkness. In the foreground a tire track runs along a dirt road.

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murphmama.bsky.social @murphmama.bsky.social · 6d

I'd like to talk about the calories I just burned prying open a pint of ice cream.

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

two women standing next to each other with the words shut your dirty little mouth on the bottom

ALT: two women standing next to each other with the words shut your dirty little mouth on the bottom

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 6d

What if somebody actually fixed this shit

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

[interrogation room]
FBI agent: How were you radicalized?
Ninja turtle: Cowabunga, dude.
FBI agent: See, that's what I'm talking about.

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Big Miss Steak 𓅚 🐊 thru the heart of a vampire @hawaiijeno.bsky.social · 6d

Don’t. Threaten me with a good time.

Please?

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

I'm going to post all my selfies in black and white from now on to try to deter ICE agents from discerning my ethnicity despite my obvious Mexican features.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

Going for a goth Mr. Rogers and I think I nailed it.

A black and white selfie of me in a cardigan.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

I will personally see to your destruction.

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

RANDY SAVAGE was an American!

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

I will never respect or acknowledge Canada.

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

Thank you kindly.

Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 6d

a man in a red sweater is standing in front of a window with blinds

ALT: a man in a red sweater is standing in front of a window with blinds

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