he didn't fear Gaz leaving him, he actually felt loved and cared for. It was something new to Alex, a feeling he would need to learn not to fear, a feeling he'd need to learn to embrace, it would take a lot of work... but Gaz would be there to guide him

"I'm sorry, sir" Alex murmured "I'll try and do better"

"You're okay pup, you don't have to do this alone, it's something we will work on together, alright?"

Alex nodded, he leaned into Gaz's touch, his eyes fluttering shut. He felt calm,

was scared of being left behind, he looked so vulnerable, Gaz swore to hurt anyone who hurt Alex, he refused to allow Alex to be hurt ever again

"Pinky promise, pup" Gaz replies, fingers brushing away some of the hair that rested on Alex's forehead

deep down. Gaz seems to want to find a solution though, he seems to actually want to help. It feels almost unreal.

"I love you" Gaz reassures

"I love you too..."

"I promise I won't leave you"

"Pinky promise?"

Gaz could feel his heart melting, Alex looked like a child who

Alex is silent, his eyes look for a trace of a lie but he can't seem to find any. He wonders if this is what it feels like to actually be loved. His previous partners had always been so hostile towards him, blamed him for everything, forced him to bury his feelings

he could barely put the words he wanted to say together

"Then I'd tell you that I currently can't handle it and we'd find an alternative, cuddling or even just you kneeling for me" Gaz replies "Though I doubt you'd ever get too much for me" he shrugs

"I offer to help you because I care about you, I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to actually help. You're not being a burden, you're not being too much, you're hurting and I want to be by your side"

"But what if I do get too much?" Alex murmured, his mind felt so cloudy,

"You never have to tell me what is wrong, but just admit to me you're not okay. I need you to be honest with me, hiding your feelings won't do you any good at all" Gaz's eyes look so earnest, Alex can tell he isn't in trouble, it's nice, it's needed.

a burden to me alright? However, you cannot hide your feelings from me, if you're hiding, communication can't be established and a rift forms between us" Gaz keeps his tone gentle, his hand continuing to pet and stroke Alex as he speaks

was finally beginning to go quiet, he was able to think again - though in this moment be didn't want to think, he wanted Gaz to do the thinking for him. He wanted Gaz to do everything, he felt so safe with Gaz.

"Good boy" Gaz softly praises "You are never

Happy birthday!

I love you too hehe <33

the pfps for anyone who wants them