You know things are off the rails when you have to ask your therapist if they're OK after a session.

To put things into perspective, I was so afraid of talking about my abuse that I would stop the person I loved from touching me.

That's pretty fucked up.

To have physical contact would require my brain to leave my body.

#MyHealingJourney

The trauma i have manifested itself through insecurities, abandonment issues, low self esteem, and the worst one, fear of intimacy. I'd litteraly have a small panic attack when someone would touch me in a loving way.

This is what ultimately killed my relationships.

I thought i had already hit emotional rock bottom. But apparently rock bottom has a basement.

#MyHealingJourney #MentalHealth

Councelling and trauma workshops have shown me how much my life has been shaped by the abuse. I have intimacy issues, I have abandonment issues, and self esteem issues. All of these have led to relationships falling apart. It took my latest breakup though to finally open up about my abuse.

More about me...
I'm in my early 50s, divorced, remarried, recently separated father of 3.
When I was 12 years old I was abused by a person in a position of authority.
For 40 years that monster has lived rent free in my head and I did what my abuser wanted me to do, keep silent.

Not any more.

Hi there.
I created this profile for others to follow along on my healing journey as a childhood sexual abuse survivor.
The trauma from this event has unknowingly affected my entire life.

I hope that sharing my story can help you in your healing journey.