Hey talking heads:
Please stop using the term "underage women."
The word you're looking for here is "girls."

Girls.

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

I ordered a pizza. The box must've tipped during delivery, because all of the toppings slid down and piled on one piece, leaving the rest of the pie gutted.

Could've called to complain, but instead ate the greatest slice of my life.

Choices, people.

I ran the dishwasher, but waited until after "peak hours." Just like they told me to. I am a good neighbor, aka: a meek l'il rule follower.

I went to the theater and cried and cried. Into my raincoat. Raincoats are not absorbent. Which is great in the rain, and subpar when you are sobbing at the theater.

Signed for a big bouquet - it wasn't for me. I was unprepared, and had no cash for the tip. Sorry, super-nice delivery guy, you deserved better. Oy, such a cold, corporate arrangement. I rearranged 'em, got rid of all the cheap filler. Cmon, guys. No one wants the fern and the baby's-breath. Nobody.

I bought a shower cap. I don't love it.

I did my laundry. Invented a delicious dinner (a weird non-shepherds pie). Watched the big game, helped a friend, did my job-job. Slept in AN EXTRA HOUR! Sure yeah ok I guess I could complain but honestly in the midst of ALL OF THE MESS... today seemed like a tiny, simple, magical win. I'll take it.

I went to the nursery (plants, not babies). Left with flowers, plants, unusual herbs, and big plans - delusions of garden-grandeur to come. I wished for a proper deli and promptly spotted one, passed twice before stopping in for a perfect sandwich and surprising, charming conversation. And a pickle.

I made dinner for a friend. Used many cutting boards and knives and pots and spoons. So many. Almost all of them.

Watching the big game, procrastinating. These dishes are not gonna be ignored, Dan.

I did two loads of laundry in the new machines. I talked to three neighbors, and made them laugh. I finished all the raspberries while they were still perfectly ripe.

I went to the theatre, and saw a new musical. I took two trains and a bus. I got a blister from the same shoes that always give me a blister, but on a new toe this time. I had dinner at an old restaurant with an old friend. I ordered the special, and it was great.