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Myq Kaplan

@myqkaplan.bsky.social

2.6K followers 230 following 5.8K posts

I’m a comedian! Tour dates: https://punchup.live/myqkaplan More info: http://linktr.ee/myqkaplan

punchup.live

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 9h

Hahaha love it

Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 9h

Have a look at my posts from yesterday! I just announced my new special coming next month! (And the album version will follow)

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 11h

Sometimes when you tell someone you're a comedian, they ask if you've met Seinfeld or suggest trying to get on SNL.

Does that happen to other artists?

"What do you do"
"I'm a painter."
"Cool, do you have anything in the Louvre?"

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 11h

CUTE JOKE ALERT!

Thinking of opening up a pasta place for people who just want to DREAM about eating, called "Penne For Your Thoughts."

CUTE JOKE OVER!

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 11h

I call the expiration dates on food "spoiler alerts."

e.g. This mayonnaise has a twist ending you might not enjoy.

(PS the "M" in "M. Night Shyamalan" stands for "mayonnaise.)

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 11h

"Three eyes!"

— a bully making fun of someone with a monocle

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 11h

I haven’t!

Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 11h

More like auto-INcorrect, am I right, ladles?

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 21h

Thanks so much!

And no need to apologize.

I appreciate hearing what you’re sharing!

Much love, and thank you!

Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 21h

Beautiful!

Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 1d

Thanks so much!

Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 1d

Thanks so much for sharing!

Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 1d

May his memory be a blessing, thank you for sharing my friend.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 1d

Today is my birthday!

To celebrate, I got YOU a gift: the trailer for my new special, “Rini”!

Rini is my gf and we made the show together!

Want to get ME a gift?
Click the “remind” button!
And/or share this with everyone who might enjoy it!

Thanks and love, all!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0uf...

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 1d

“I would sing happy birthday but I don’t want to spoil your day”

— a birthday voice message I got from my grandmother on this day in 2019, her final my-birthday (a message that continues to do the OPPOSITE of spoil my day)

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