I used to feel super confident and full of possibilities, and then my partner had a stroke. Funnily enough it didn’t affect my perception of him but instead my perception of myself. Now I feel frail. Like wet paper in a strong wind.

Am I finished? I mean I am tired, but, am I done?

I don’t truly understand why, but my head has been murky, mucky and it feels like an enemy sometimes. Like I am tripping myself or like I deliberately forgot how to walk just to spite myself.

I am trying to keep my head up.

Ugggghgggggggh. Is that a word? And why? That is all.

I have had some pretty bad anxiety attacks consuming news lately. I fear for my friends. I fear for my family. I fear for my partner. If I am knitting or crocheting frantically please understand I am trying to keep my brain working and my emotions from drowning me.

It didn’t take me years to decide, well it didn’t take me any additional years. In fact, I jumped right in and enrolled for the TKGA Master Hand Knitting Program Level 1. Hopeful I remember how to write and how to cite.

This weekend I officially joined TKGA. I have wanted to do it for years. Now I need to talk myself into starting the Master Hand Knitter certification. Hope it doesn’t take me years to decide.

New glasses… and a sad monstera. Don’t judge me, I’m cute.

Feeling old.