I was wrongfully accused of masturbating on the bus. I won and just received my £5000 payout from the police . I think I'll splash it on something nice.

Was driving with my nephew when a dildo flew out of the bin wagon in front of us. To save embarrassment I told him it was a bug. He said "I'm surprised it could fly with a cock like that"

Am I having real thoughts or am I just being fucking hormonal sometimes I hate being a girl

Tiger bread slathered in proper butter is a wonderful thing.

But for toast, tiger bread is the WORST.

I’ll die on this hill, come at me bro

First day here…what do I need to know