I have been trying to end my stream hiatus for months or hang out with ANY of my friends but can't sit at my computer or have things happening to me weekly & I'm tired.

The previous doctor kept writing down either nothing or downplaying my issues which is going to fuck w me getting disability I'm sure which already feels impossible. Idk why I'm the only one that can't get it it feels. I get chronic migraines every week & she wrote them down as headaches every time.

I don't envy srdaily dealing with Twitter, I refused to ever look at the sr tag on twitter

Right now my only gripe is wishing I didn't miss out on so much because of anxiety or disabilities
I wanna hang out with friends more than I do, vc feels scary even with people I talk to daily in chat
I hope it improves so I can play games with people & hang out more

i have to remember to think positively, let go of negative things that happen to me, move on to the next thing & don't think about the thing that failed. my merch did not sell at all so i am bummed. but i can't really do anything about it.

& the mental toll i went through i'm definitely still recovering from. i was practically breaking down every day. there's not much you can distract yourself with when even watching something is too difficult physically.

YAA it is rough but most of the time people aren't thinking anything of things or it's not negative

Yeah I try to remember that or that it's pretty much always in my head. Or things like someone mightve just completely forgot to respond to me, which I do myself, rather than it being on purpose. The mind loves playing tricks.

Being autistic makes it that much harder because I can't understand if something was negative or social cues or

I did get a sale today which is nice, not all is hopeless