this is a safe place to stay, “play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” nowadays, right?

Google developer #1: "That's it. Our search engine is simple, efficient, and reliable. It's perfect. We're done."

Google developer #2, presumably: "But wouldn't it be *more* perfect if the first search result was always a robot who mansplained your search results to you incorrectly?"

what is the antithesis of bussin?

who invented the lawn? why?

Again: this is not about what this country can or can’t afford.

It’s about priorities.

we can only progress so far as human kind, until we adopt the jbc as our global currency. this is just a fact.

weird to anyone else that Gatorade makes protein bars?

a hot take: weapons is an objectively bad movie lol

damn gav go off cuz

gonna test out workshopping tweets at the office today wish me luck

THE BREWERS HAVE WON 25 OF THEIR LAST 29 GAMES MY GOODNESS

won a lil bit at the casino this weekend and the first thing I did when I woke up the next day was figure out how to win labubu eBay auctions. I got happiness. I am also trash.

idc how long I’ve known you if you send me a Spotify link to try and get me to listen to something we were never more than mere acquaintances.

lib twitter whatup? I’m gonna start this off by posting all my politically charged twitter drafts