The soon to be wife @ttvmaxgroupva.bsky.social told me to quit using alchemy to make a homunculus army. I thought hiding them in the toilet tank would be a safe plan only to find my tiny creations escaped into the sewers and took my monogrammed socks with them.

Just learned how to eat an apple for the first time today. AND in doing so, only broke five bones and exploded only a singular testicle.