I guess I can take the ego boost knowing I'm a lot more ready than I think I am to start publishing/sharing my work for coin

But that doesn't make me any less irritated 😩 I really liked his writing...so that was some deeply weird unnecessary shit that made ZERO sense cause he has the range himself

Now I'm gonna wonder how much of his work is like that...

And I know it's not just him: I unfollowed a creator in the same space months back when they published an entire excerpt from a book I was reading to their substack - and attributed it to themselves

They barely re-worded anything too

What a jackass

I heard bro was blocking folk for bullshit reasons, didn't think it included hearing the truth from folks he's talking about. Apparently, hearing this issue is caused by anything but AI is too much to handle 🙄

So I usually don't bother with critique, positive or not, cause their antiblackness and imposter syndrome makes them interpret me as aggressive regardless

But I'm not sure I can just like...watch the descent quietly and pretend that's somehow supportive...

And this is with even compliments and positive critiques: I've been told I'm trying to tear someone down when I'm LITERALLY telling them they don't have to hold back with features they may want to include in what they make because I'm always happy to pay for good art, even if I have to save for it

I want to say something but, traditionally, I've just never met white folk who are open to hearing they are wrong about something and should do some self reflection

They all walk around with immense imposter syndrome that makes the sort of blunt critique I do (AuDHD) hit harder than it's meant to

Like I'm watching what feels like this creator self destruct imo

What they have made feeling like the start of a magnum opus abandoned vs what IS public either not matching that level, not being what folks want, or virtually unknown in how little it's been shared with the public

And it's tragic

Like I don't want sexual!Emmlich fans to stop creating or feel like what their doing is wrong cause it's not and I'm happy their having fun! Some of them create my favorite non-sexual Emmlich art ffs, art that's mad cute! I just also want to see cool Emmlich stuff without sex in it, that's all 😩

Those minefields only exist because sex negative folk and fascists care more about harming and triggering folk, then abusing folk's anger for power, over creating safe inclusive spaces where both non-sexual and sexual stuff can coexist without any of us feeling alienated, triggered, or icked out

I really wish goofy policies and sex negativity didn't impact fandom so much that fans can't tag things accurately without risking harassment, banning, or shaming for their harmless desires, all while people like me feel like we're avoiding minefields that didn't have to exist for us

But I'd love to see more non-sexual Emmlich stuff without the sexual stuff kinda...idk

It's not necessarily a trigger for me, more like a vague strong personal ick - same thing I can feel seeing like zombie or gore porn

I just want it tagged so I can enjoy what I do like...

Definitely a good thing to just turn everything off, light some candles, burn some incense, and stop being a person

I've been sitting in silence like I'm purging stress from my brain for the last hour, along with eating something nourishing, and it REALLY is helping 😩💖

Still exhausted today frfr and my stomach hating mete more than usual after than nonsense with the food poisoning

So I've been drinking a pre/probiotic heavy smoothie and resting today whenever I want

It's nice, it feels like this reset of sorts

The amount of fits, planning, research wasted cause I'll remember the sheer amount of weirdos I've had stalking me for just existing really just stops the whole process

If yal stalk me for that, it'll be way worse in that context

They act like this every time a contractor is heavy handed, as if it's on us to impress them or something

If we have a way we operate, suddenly becoming an asshole for contractors is just not it