Neon Pines Mall
@neonpinesmall.bsky.social
Your destination for shopping, food and fun. Experience the Neon Pines experience!
instagram.com/neonpinesmall
tinyurl.com/neonpinesmall
instagram.com/neonpinesmall
tinyurl.com/neonpinesmall
We are working on maintaining wheelchair accessibility but according to soil scientists our foundation is sinking sideways into the earth at eleven inches per year
January 2, 2026 at 5:46 AM
We are working on maintaining wheelchair accessibility but according to soil scientists our foundation is sinking sideways into the earth at eleven inches per year
We are aware of the Demogorgon
November 26, 2025 at 6:23 PM
We are aware of the Demogorgon
Has your Shar-Pei seen better days? Come on down to Neon Pines Pet Grooming for a complimentary waddle smoothening
November 4, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Has your Shar-Pei seen better days? Come on down to Neon Pines Pet Grooming for a complimentary waddle smoothening
Please do not spit into, off of, or up inside of anything
October 20, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Please do not spit into, off of, or up inside of anything
Congrats to 12-year old Ricky Dawson on winning the door prize at Video Heaven and receiving five unrestricted minutes in the Adult section
October 3, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Congrats to 12-year old Ricky Dawson on winning the door prize at Video Heaven and receiving five unrestricted minutes in the Adult section
We will open at our normal time tomorrow unless the Rapture leaves us understaffed
September 23, 2025 at 7:59 PM
We will open at our normal time tomorrow unless the Rapture leaves us understaffed
RELEASE THE LIST! Santa’s Naughty List, that is! Christmas is just three months away!
September 22, 2025 at 7:29 PM
RELEASE THE LIST! Santa’s Naughty List, that is! Christmas is just three months away!
Your next career path awaits! Service Merchandise is looking for an Accounts Receivable clerk who isn’t easily squeamish to start ASAP
September 15, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Your next career path awaits! Service Merchandise is looking for an Accounts Receivable clerk who isn’t easily squeamish to start ASAP
We are aware that some of you have peanut allergies so please don’t come here today because everything has peanuts in it
September 5, 2025 at 1:19 PM
We are aware that some of you have peanut allergies so please don’t come here today because everything has peanuts in it
Land’s End is now carrying hip, edgy denim. Too edgy, in fact, because they denied January 6 happened and are now facing heavy criticism
August 27, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Land’s End is now carrying hip, edgy denim. Too edgy, in fact, because they denied January 6 happened and are now facing heavy criticism
Please refrain from throwing your Food Court trays into the elevator shaft
August 21, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Please refrain from throwing your Food Court trays into the elevator shaft
For the (lucky!) 7th time, Neon Pines will be prominently featured in tonight’s episode of Dateline
August 15, 2025 at 6:21 PM
For the (lucky!) 7th time, Neon Pines will be prominently featured in tonight’s episode of Dateline
We have been informed that our Back To School decorations have frightened several children and military veterans and will be removed
August 11, 2025 at 12:57 PM
We have been informed that our Back To School decorations have frightened several children and military veterans and will be removed
Radon-Free Since 2033 (estimated)!
August 5, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Radon-Free Since 2033 (estimated)!
We will have the alarms and sprinklers turned off within the hour, thank you for your patience
August 4, 2025 at 12:39 PM
We will have the alarms and sprinklers turned off within the hour, thank you for your patience
“I refuse to pay alimony for those bastard developments.” – Happy Birthday to Victor Gruen, creator of the Shopping Mall!
July 30, 2025 at 12:19 PM
“I refuse to pay alimony for those bastard developments.” – Happy Birthday to Victor Gruen, creator of the Shopping Mall!
Our Blockbuster is still open
July 21, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Our Blockbuster is still open
Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and James Dean weren’t friends but Deck The Walls doesn’t know that so they’re all in every painting they have
July 7, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and James Dean weren’t friends but Deck The Walls doesn’t know that so they’re all in every painting they have
Get ‘classy’ with Back-To-School savings on all bulk fart spray at Spencer Gifts
June 30, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Get ‘classy’ with Back-To-School savings on all bulk fart spray at Spencer Gifts
A reminder that the ferns in the atrium are artificial and you shouldn’t be eating them even if they weren't
June 23, 2025 at 12:34 PM
A reminder that the ferns in the atrium are artificial and you shouldn’t be eating them even if they weren't
Noodle Kidoodle is currently on lockdown
June 20, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Noodle Kidoodle is currently on lockdown
The official name is ‘Spiral Wishing Well Coin Funnel’ but regardless it should not be urinated into
June 16, 2025 at 12:47 PM
The official name is ‘Spiral Wishing Well Coin Funnel’ but regardless it should not be urinated into
Neon Pines has always had a mask-wearing policy due to what is locally-known as ‘The Incident’
June 10, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Neon Pines has always had a mask-wearing policy due to what is locally-known as ‘The Incident’
Sagebrush’s clothes are so casual you technically cannot wear them inside of Neon Pines due to our Appearance Policy
June 3, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Sagebrush’s clothes are so casual you technically cannot wear them inside of Neon Pines due to our Appearance Policy
Beefsteak Charlie’s is your one-stop shop for a bun-plopped chop
May 28, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Beefsteak Charlie’s is your one-stop shop for a bun-plopped chop