Neurospicy Spork Goddess
@neurospork.bsky.social
🏳️⚧️
Be the three goblins in a trenchcoat you want to see in the world.
Be the three goblins in a trenchcoat you want to see in the world.
"Before we start the meeting, HR has asked that I collect the agency-issued cyanide pills from each of you. Yes, yes I know it's a pain, but HR wants to be sure that we don't have a repeat of last week. Gary! No! Spit it out! Yes, I KNOW this could have been an email but there are rules!"
August 19, 2024 at 8:40 PM
"Before we start the meeting, HR has asked that I collect the agency-issued cyanide pills from each of you. Yes, yes I know it's a pain, but HR wants to be sure that we don't have a repeat of last week. Gary! No! Spit it out! Yes, I KNOW this could have been an email but there are rules!"
Flick my bean to reduce stress? Which bean? I have thousands of beans! I'm literally swimming in beans! THE OVERABUNDANCE OF BEANS IS WHY IM STRESSED IN THE FIRST PLACE
August 19, 2024 at 6:24 PM
Flick my bean to reduce stress? Which bean? I have thousands of beans! I'm literally swimming in beans! THE OVERABUNDANCE OF BEANS IS WHY IM STRESSED IN THE FIRST PLACE
*in my little goblin voice* more snuggles for sporky? You... You give sporky all the snugg-snuggs?
SNUGGLE TIIIIIIIIME!
SNUGGLE TIIIIIIIIME!
August 19, 2024 at 12:09 PM
*in my little goblin voice* more snuggles for sporky? You... You give sporky all the snugg-snuggs?
SNUGGLE TIIIIIIIIME!
SNUGGLE TIIIIIIIIME!
For every "lol aren't millennials the worst" meme and article, there's a boomer whose kids don't talk to them anymore that will die alone in the million dollar home they bought for $15,000 in 1982.
August 11, 2024 at 6:36 PM
For every "lol aren't millennials the worst" meme and article, there's a boomer whose kids don't talk to them anymore that will die alone in the million dollar home they bought for $15,000 in 1982.
"cool beans" I say
But it is not cool beans
It is hot beans
Volcanic lava beans
Instantly converting matter into plasma beans
Uncontrolled nuclear fusion reaction beans
Selma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn beans
Inside of a microwaved hot pocket beans
But it is not cool beans
It is hot beans
Volcanic lava beans
Instantly converting matter into plasma beans
Uncontrolled nuclear fusion reaction beans
Selma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn beans
Inside of a microwaved hot pocket beans
August 11, 2024 at 6:26 PM
"cool beans" I say
But it is not cool beans
It is hot beans
Volcanic lava beans
Instantly converting matter into plasma beans
Uncontrolled nuclear fusion reaction beans
Selma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn beans
Inside of a microwaved hot pocket beans
But it is not cool beans
It is hot beans
Volcanic lava beans
Instantly converting matter into plasma beans
Uncontrolled nuclear fusion reaction beans
Selma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn beans
Inside of a microwaved hot pocket beans
The work week is backwards. Should be five days off for every two days of work.
I want to come in on a Monday morning and have forgotten who my coworkers are and what my job is.
I want to come in on a Monday morning and have forgotten who my coworkers are and what my job is.
August 11, 2024 at 6:16 PM
The work week is backwards. Should be five days off for every two days of work.
I want to come in on a Monday morning and have forgotten who my coworkers are and what my job is.
I want to come in on a Monday morning and have forgotten who my coworkers are and what my job is.
I'm lesbeab
Lessbob
Lezbeen
Lezibin
Lebanon
...
Me 💜 women
Lessbob
Lezbeen
Lezibin
Lebanon
...
Me 💜 women
August 11, 2024 at 12:38 PM
I'm lesbeab
Lessbob
Lezbeen
Lezibin
Lebanon
...
Me 💜 women
Lessbob
Lezbeen
Lezibin
Lebanon
...
Me 💜 women
Remember girls, when you get bored of all the slaying, there's always disinterested masturbation to really spice things up.
August 10, 2024 at 12:27 AM
Remember girls, when you get bored of all the slaying, there's always disinterested masturbation to really spice things up.
All the best accounts have a theme. Mine is "stop reading now if you value your mental health"
Which is why I keep reading my own posts over and over again
Which is why I keep reading my own posts over and over again
August 10, 2024 at 12:23 AM
All the best accounts have a theme. Mine is "stop reading now if you value your mental health"
Which is why I keep reading my own posts over and over again
Which is why I keep reading my own posts over and over again
I don't have a type, but if I did, it would be
✨women✨
✨women✨
August 10, 2024 at 12:15 AM
I don't have a type, but if I did, it would be
✨women✨
✨women✨
There's a special place in hell for people who schedule outdoor events in the hottest month of the year in a city where it regularly hits 110° during the summer.
I'm just gonna start RSVPing to those as "Sorry I cannot attend, as I am too fat and do not enjoy sweating."
I'm just gonna start RSVPing to those as "Sorry I cannot attend, as I am too fat and do not enjoy sweating."
August 9, 2024 at 7:51 PM
There's a special place in hell for people who schedule outdoor events in the hottest month of the year in a city where it regularly hits 110° during the summer.
I'm just gonna start RSVPing to those as "Sorry I cannot attend, as I am too fat and do not enjoy sweating."
I'm just gonna start RSVPing to those as "Sorry I cannot attend, as I am too fat and do not enjoy sweating."
Someone walked through the hall with a plate of cheesy nachos and I am suddenly reminded of my ancestral, mid-western need to consume All The Cheese.
August 9, 2024 at 7:46 PM
Someone walked through the hall with a plate of cheesy nachos and I am suddenly reminded of my ancestral, mid-western need to consume All The Cheese.
When I think about how I don't have many friends anymore, I wonder if it's because of something I did (or didn't do), and it's soooo hard to fight that feeling. Especially when I know that my predecessor was an asshole sometimes (or maybe that's just RSD bitching at me too).
August 9, 2024 at 5:39 PM
When I think about how I don't have many friends anymore, I wonder if it's because of something I did (or didn't do), and it's soooo hard to fight that feeling. Especially when I know that my predecessor was an asshole sometimes (or maybe that's just RSD bitching at me too).
No I will not be sharing the content of this account with my therapist.
Trust me, she already knows how weird I am.
Trust me, she already knows how weird I am.
August 9, 2024 at 4:05 PM
No I will not be sharing the content of this account with my therapist.
Trust me, she already knows how weird I am.
Trust me, she already knows how weird I am.
The rapture is such a funny concept to me. Like, big sky daddy is going to suck you up to heaven and make all your dreams come true as long as you keep repeating the correct magical incantations and get splashed with water that someone made a few hand gestures at.
August 9, 2024 at 4:03 PM
The rapture is such a funny concept to me. Like, big sky daddy is going to suck you up to heaven and make all your dreams come true as long as you keep repeating the correct magical incantations and get splashed with water that someone made a few hand gestures at.
Fun fact: if you threw me into a bottomless pit, it wouldn't be bottomless anymore.
...but there'd still be at least one empty hole you could fill.
...but there'd still be at least one empty hole you could fill.
August 9, 2024 at 3:44 PM
Fun fact: if you threw me into a bottomless pit, it wouldn't be bottomless anymore.
...but there'd still be at least one empty hole you could fill.
...but there'd still be at least one empty hole you could fill.
There should be more self help books that start with a chapter on removing blood from your clothing.
Once you've got that knowledge down, then the real work can begin.
Once you've got that knowledge down, then the real work can begin.
August 9, 2024 at 3:36 PM
There should be more self help books that start with a chapter on removing blood from your clothing.
Once you've got that knowledge down, then the real work can begin.
Once you've got that knowledge down, then the real work can begin.
A few weeks ago I let a coworker get a peek behind the curtain and now she thinks I'm one bad day from going feral and honestly she might not be wrong about that.
August 9, 2024 at 3:25 PM
A few weeks ago I let a coworker get a peek behind the curtain and now she thinks I'm one bad day from going feral and honestly she might not be wrong about that.
Sometimes I wonder why there aren't more flamethrower-related deaths in the news.
And then I remember that not everyone wants a flamethrower as badly as I do.
And then I remember that not everyone wants a flamethrower as badly as I do.
August 9, 2024 at 3:23 PM
Sometimes I wonder why there aren't more flamethrower-related deaths in the news.
And then I remember that not everyone wants a flamethrower as badly as I do.
And then I remember that not everyone wants a flamethrower as badly as I do.
Hello! It is I, NeuroSpork! The alt account for that one crazy trans bitch to post all of her unhinged audhd, NSFW, and just plain insane thoughts without having to worry about filtering! Yay!
August 9, 2024 at 3:20 PM
Hello! It is I, NeuroSpork! The alt account for that one crazy trans bitch to post all of her unhinged audhd, NSFW, and just plain insane thoughts without having to worry about filtering! Yay!