At least he's so handsome...

God damn it, when was this rule created?? I saw no memo!

Schumer embodies that thing I'm seeing shared lately: If a genie granted the Dems three wishes, they would negotiate it down to one and then choose something they hoped the GOP would like.

He owns the DOJ. He owns the supreme court. What do you expect to happen?

Standup too, unfortunately. It's either that for these comics or endless crowd work.

Disney's in if Barney will agree to let Randy Newman score the whole cycle.

Absolutely! I have colleagues and admin who are secretly dependent on it. I promise I'm all natural, coach!

I haven’t thought about it for too long, but Tom Waits in The Fisher King comes to mind.

This is always when I bring up Charlie Kaufman's thing about the value of letting your audience be confused. I've heard a lot of people say you should never, but it's such a common human experience to not know what's going on. Kaufman keeps us in that and I love it.

As a devoted listener of your CFNY show at the top of the pre-Internet 90s, you defined this truth. We needed to know!

Ricardo Montalban: "Really, Tattoo? I won't..."

But also it's stupider. I type "Whrther I do or not" and it recommends "Merger? Is that what you meant? How about Murrrrder?"

An outy-space alien appreciating the day.