Sometimes when you mishear someone it is funny. Sometimes it is embarrassing. Sometimes it is massively awkward - like when it turns out a builder said his caulk was too hard to be of use and you tried to prove him wrong.

Utterly fucked off with life. If I could bring this world to an end I would.

On this day six years ago my father died. I still think, "This is the longest I have gone without seeing my dad".

Season's greetings.

The dark day of the year. If I had succeeded in my endeavour 33 years ago today, I would not be here to write this. I have mixed feelings, to be honest.

I've been lied to my whole life. "Santa is real", "I love you", "relax...it won't hurt", "it's good for the skin", "there are no hidden charges", "I won't tell a soul", "I'm single", and so on.

The latest lie I have been told is "sweet potato fries done in the air fryer are lovely". Lovely?

This started well but now all I am seeing are the same posts over and over again.

Thank goodness No Nut November is over; I have finally been able to open the Oven Roasted Mixed Nuts I treated myself to.

When I was at the hospital this morning, the doctor said "I want you to pee in the cup." I replied, "I am experienced but not sure I want to do it at competition level."

There are gas works ongoing where I live as they are changing all the pipes to plastic. Just as I was about to sit down to lunch there was a knock at the door. "The gas main is in your garden, we'll have to dig your patio up." FFS.

I hope when my time comes that I am mentally clear and have people around me as I would love my last words to be, "You'll never find the bodies now."

Ugh. No.

Lying in bed listening to Balefire by Jordan L Hawk on Audible. This is about my 15th time through the series.

I was walking in the jungle the other day when I saw a monkey with a banana in one hand and a tin opener in the other.
I said to him, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana."
He replied, "I know, it's for the custard."

It's amazing how a simple procedure can improve your vision instantly. Yes, I've cleaned my glasses.

Having not seen a single episode before, this week I binge watched 'Miranda'. Alexa is trolling me this morning by playing 'Proud' by Heather Small.

I'm new here. I have no idea what I am doing so I will just stand over here in the corner being fabulous until someone sweeps me off my feet.