this is so cool!!

sigh. i feel like a forlorn poet writing and pining whilst sitting on their balcony.

i just want to love someone damn it!!

someone who will appreciate my value and see me as i am and not as something that needs to be fixed. who will respect my autonomy and boundaries, while also encouraging positive growth. i have so much love and commitment to give to the right person and it’s all i really want.

i want to play dnd, go to a renaissance faire, go to conventions, do arts and crafts projects at home, visit animal shelters and play with cats, watch anime and lotr together. giggle over silly puns and cook and eat meals with one another.

i don’t really know.

all i do know is i want to date someone who makes me laugh, who i want to dedicate myself to, who i smile when thinking of, and who enriches my life. i want to play games together, talk for hours whether silly or deep, and engage in interests together.

but i also know who i am as a person and i don’t really want to date casually like that /: if im going to dedicate my limited time and funds to someone else, i’d like to form a connection that isn’t just about sex or going out for it to not work. maybe that’s unrealistic or maybe that’s normal, +

partnership is something i desire and marriage is something i want. it’s weird tho bc i feel like at 25 maybe i shouldn’t be seeking long term partnership since i came out of a 7 year long relationship that i was in since high school- like i should see my options before settling down again?

viewed by a potential lover as not a whole person. i want to feel secure in myself and my circle to avoid enmeshment and codependency. im very much afraid of messing things up after how my last relationship ended, but i also know i’ve made a lot of personal progress and growth.

part of me feels like i don’t do enough besides work and staying home to play games/watch things (sometimes) and like maybe people won’t think i’m mature bc i don’t have social hobbies outside of online friends. i know i shouldn’t be seeking outside approval but i also don’t want to be +

so i have to have more consistent funds to go on dates. i also would like to have a stable job so i wouldn’t be so worried about money before spending unnecessary money on dating as well.

but at the place where i am rn in life, im still working part time and don’t have a concrete, settled career, nor do i have consistent funds to ensure transportation to/from dates.

i know some people are willing to pick up/drop off, but i don’t want to be viewed as a burden or immature.

been thinking a lot lately about how i’d like to meet someone again and spend time with someone who makes me happy and who i can share things with (non platonically). and also sex. lmao. (sorry i am a human being)

i think the autistic sense of justice combined with the raging heart rate caused by caffeine is making my anxiety shoot up lol

just can’t stop thinking abt it no matter how hard i try and the venting i already did 😮‍💨🫠

just rlly cool how it looks so different even tho it’s the same! i was comparing this throughout all the designs haha

it rlly is! i feel like it has to do with the perception of the eyes bc on black paper the circle could be interpreted as a big pupil (where the actual pupil could be a highlight) which is usually used in more “cutesy” animal features! but in black ink, it’s more clear that the pupil is small.

happy birthday!! 🎉

somehow the white on black bat looks like such a friend and the black on white bat looks unhinged LOL (amazing work as always ❤️‍🔥)