I’m pretty sure it is sarcasm. I doubt people actually like the new terms. People are even deleting the app or their accounts because of it

/gen, /lh

If you took the time to read this, thank you. I really do appreciate it.

If no one reads it, that’s fine too. As I’ve said multiple times already, I just wanted a space to open up about this.

[14/14]

I feel like it’s a stretch to say I was gaslit, but then again, I feel like that’s what happened.

But back to my therapist. After I left him, I fell into a denial spiral which caused me to think I really was delusional.

But I’m fine now. I just wanted a space to open up about this.

[13/?]

When I told him I forgot, my brother looked at me skeptically and asked how I could claim to go through so much, then just… forget. I shrugged. That’s all I was able to do, besides cry.

My memory has been the same since then. But I still feel like a wimp for leaving therapy.

[12/?]

He then asked what was so traumatic for me because “I had it easy compared to him”. But when I was getting ready to explain myself, I just… forgot. I forgot everything. I felt like the memories I originally had of my trauma were just… taken away.

[11/?]

These feelings were also reinforced by my brother, who expressed his agreement with the therapist by saying that he thinks I’m “just a delusional girl who wants to be autistic and traumatized”.

[10/?]

But because of how “early” I left, I feel like a wimp who quit therapy because they couldn’t handle a professional opinion.

[9/?]

He also said something about his other clients, which I don’t fully remember, but started off with “The clients that I meet with that have Multiple Personality Disorder…”

I felt uncomfortable and left right then and there. I felt like he was a red flag, which is why I left.

[8/?]

Then, after a session or two, he told me that he didn’t think I had “Multiple Personality Disorder,” and instead thought I had Delusional Disorder or was going through psychosis.

[7/?]

When I asked why he wanted me to look into those conditions and further questioned if he thought I had those conditions, he said that he just wanted me to look into those symptoms. That’s it.

[6/?]

I know medication can be helpful to systems, but to me, it seemed like he wanted to “get rid of” my system, if that makes sense.

Eventually, he asked me to look up symptoms of Delusional Disorder and Psychosis to see if those symptoms fit my experience. It didn’t.

[5/?]

But then, the tone shifted.

He started recommending me to take anti-psychotics because “it seemed like my system stuff was burdening me,” which… it was. It was annoying to deal with and I did feel genuine distress about certain things regarding my system.

[4/?]

The intake was fine. Everything went fine, until I told my therapist about my suspicion of being a system.

At first, he validated my system, saying that it was “as real as light shining through a window” and “autistic people didn’t talk about systems the way I did”.

[3/?]

So, I started going to therapy for my symptoms involving dissociation and stuff like that.

But around 8 months into therapy, I left. I’ll admit, I mostly feel like a wimp for leaving, but there’s a part of me that that thinks I did what was best for me.

[ 2 / ? ]

I often use System Member to refer to the individuals in our system. Sometimes, I use alter to refer to them too, but I find the term System Member to be more “right” for me and our system.