if Satan hisself appeared, red and scaly with bifurcated tail, and held out a contract saying that every morning I could wake up rested and I just had to—

wait, why are you signing already, I didn't tell y—

are you sure you know what you're trading—

well okay then

One time I ate a pizza in 4 minutes 57 seconds and then the retelling of that story was a comment of the week on defector dot com.

Fortune and glory.