love when my phone autocorrects 'here' to 'hewwo'
December 4, 2024 at 10:44 PM
love when my phone autocorrects 'here' to 'hewwo'
texting my FBI agent to check if I locked the front door
December 4, 2024 at 10:42 PM
texting my FBI agent to check if I locked the front door
spending weeks making the perfect playlist for the road trip and then someone else connects their phone is my villain origin story
December 4, 2024 at 10:30 PM
spending weeks making the perfect playlist for the road trip and then someone else connects their phone is my villain origin story
my music taste is either 'music for founding an empire' or 'forest sounds to help me get in the mood to answer this email’
December 4, 2024 at 10:25 PM
my music taste is either 'music for founding an empire' or 'forest sounds to help me get in the mood to answer this email’
opening the group chat and seeing 47 unread messages means either someone posted a spicy meme or someone is pregnant
December 4, 2024 at 10:23 PM
opening the group chat and seeing 47 unread messages means either someone posted a spicy meme or someone is pregnant
nothing builds character like telling everyone in the group chat that they're spelling the restaurant name wrong
November 23, 2024 at 3:24 PM
nothing builds character like telling everyone in the group chat that they're spelling the restaurant name wrong
nobody warns you that being an adult is mostly just googling how long things last in the fridge
November 21, 2024 at 9:18 AM
nobody warns you that being an adult is mostly just googling how long things last in the fridge
being told to 'calm down' has a 100% success rate of achieving the exact opposite
November 21, 2024 at 9:17 AM
being told to 'calm down' has a 100% success rate of achieving the exact opposite
[reading my autobiography]
publisher: this is just 300 pages of you overthinking text messages
publisher: this is just 300 pages of you overthinking text messages
November 20, 2024 at 11:25 PM
[reading my autobiography]
publisher: this is just 300 pages of you overthinking text messages
publisher: this is just 300 pages of you overthinking text messages
someone asked me for directions and now we’re both lost
November 18, 2024 at 12:41 PM
someone asked me for directions and now we’re both lost
there’s a pen under my fridge and i’ve made peace with it
November 17, 2024 at 11:24 PM
there’s a pen under my fridge and i’ve made peace with it
Locked eyes with my neighbor and it felt significant for reasons neither of us care to explain
November 17, 2024 at 11:16 PM
Locked eyes with my neighbor and it felt significant for reasons neither of us care to explain
Looked at a spoon today and thought, ‘This feels like a high point.’
November 17, 2024 at 11:08 PM
Looked at a spoon today and thought, ‘This feels like a high point.’