Not gonna bother hiding them, since I've very obviously cut all over my face before which of course I wasn't able to hide and nobody asked about it, so I doubt this will be any different

Granted I have been getting better at reminding myself that she's a miserable childish person and I don't need to let the things she says/does get to me. But it still hurts knowing how willing she is to hurt me whenever she feels like it, which is often

There's something inherently disgusting and hateable about me I think. Not sure what exactly all I know is that I'm simply worthless and revolting and embarrassing. Just feels right

It's like "hey are u reading a book right now? Are u making a snack? Are u doodling? Watching yt? That's so fucking retarded lol kill urself" like damn!! Ok tho lol I'm too tired to fight man

Like I've been kinda just keeping my thoughts and joys to myself for a long time but I'm beginning to not be able to even do that anymore. Years ago I'd do something small to have some fun n it made me feel good but nowadays it makes me feel bad about myself

Invalidation and dehumanization are such common things that come from truly insecure miserable people in order to make more insecure miserable people and it's a pretty hard cycle to break. "If they can do it why can't I?" Because u don't need to be weak, u don't need to be a needless pain generator.

It's the falseness and facade of it all that gets me the most. Very scary, very paranoia inducing, very much making me distrust and hate everyone