So anyway, I fucking hate Return to Silent Hill.

And then the butcher turns his blood-streaked face towards you, eyes wide and frenzied, grinning a too-wide smile.

And he has the audacity to say to you, "Wasn't that GREAT? I fucking LOVE this cow!"

But, the owners don't take the cow to a new stage.

Instead, they take it to an abattoir.

And you watch, as a butcher dismantles your beloved cow in the clumsiest, cruellest, most embarrassing way possible.

And you love this old cow, and you remember how happy you were to tell your friends about it when you were young. You'd REALLY like to see other people get the chance to see this old cow and learn to love it like you did.

And then, one day, the cow's owners come to you and say, "Hey, remember that old cow you love so much? We're gonna take that old cow onto a BRAND NEW STAGE! A BIGGER STAGE! Now, so many people are gonna be able to see this old cow and appreciate it, too! People who've NEVER seen this cow before!"

You're a little bit encouraged by this, because it seems like the owners are finally investing in other cows like that old cow you love so much again, and that makes you happy. More cows are always a good thing, you think.

And you're like, "Wow, this is a really nice cow. It reminds me of the moment I met that old cow, when I was young. You're right, it does a lot of things better."

"But... I STILL love that old cow."

The owners seem befuddled by this, but you pay attention to the new cow and that's all they want.

ANYWAY.

One day, the cow's owners come to you and they say, "Hey, y'know that old cow you love so much? Well, here's a BRAND NEW cow that's almost exactly like the old cow! It even does some things BETTER than the old cow! What do you think of that?"

And then, for awhile, the owners brought in this team of Americans to run the farm for awhile, and they don't view cows with the same kind of reverence, they view them more like products on an assembly line.

This is kind of where the metaphor breaks down a little. I said I was bad at this.

They haven't been as kind to some of the other cows that have come after it. They haven't gotten the same treatment, maybe.

You are keenly aware of the fact you do not OWN this cow. You can visit the farm the cow lives on, but the cow belongs to the farm owners.

You have the sneaking suspicion the cow's owners do not love this cow in the same way that you do.

You spend a lot of time with this cow. You write about this cow. You tell your friends about this special cow you've become so fond of. Many other people agree with you. "This is a really cool cow. One of the best of this particular breed of cow."

So, say there's this cow.

It's a fine cow, one of the better looking ones on this particular farm. You meet this cow when you're young, and you grow attached to it. There's a certain special cowiness about this cow that really speaks to you at your formative age.