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notaficwriter.bsky.social
@notaficwriter.bsky.social
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notaficwriter.bsky.social
@samreich.bsky.social for legal reasons, this is a bit.
hello, mister reich, i see that you featured a tuxedo cat in the latest episode of game changer, mayday, and note that this cat is quite small, and adorable. in future episodes of this nature, may i propose an elevated challenge in the form of my tuxedo cat, olive oil. olive oil weighs 17 pounds, and does not like sitting in laps, but does enjoy sitting on people’s chests to smother them. enclosed is a list of people he likes: - me - my dad - end of list. olive oil is neutered. however, he retains his testicles (purely decorative). i believe this adds a second psychological component to the challenge. he was a late neuter as a result of living 3-4 years as an entirely feral cat, whereupon he was fished out of the olive tree he lived in and was made presentable to society at large. he enjoys tuna and saltines. he dislikes people, loud noises, and being outside of his house, all factors that i believe make him a perfect addition to the rotating cast of featured game changer animal guests. kindest regards, bal. (this writing of this message has been overseen by a large cat.) a picture of olive oil, a large tuxedo cat with a mustache, sitting on top of a toilet tank cover.
April 25, 2025 at 6:04 PM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
they call him doctor worm.
a google doc snippet reading: [YouTube video: The Rocked Tomb feb. 20 Monday show - opening for sarp] PALAMEDES SEXTUS is playing around on the keys between songs. SEXTUS: I like to play the drums. I think I’m getting good, but I can handle criticism. I’ll show you what I know and you can tell me if you think I’m getting better on the drums. NAV: He’s baiting you. Don’t let him win, Nonagesimus. SEXTUS: I’ll leave the front unlocked, ‘cause I can’t hear the doorbell. NONAGESIMUS: A doctorate in music theory. [Without a horn player, CAMILLA HECT achieves the same effect by speaking the horn part out loud.] NONAGESIMUS: God will not forgive us for our transgressions and this is good. This is good, in fact.
March 25, 2025 at 7:10 PM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
hey, i don’t mean to alarm you, but it appears like there’s a yellow-bellied sheath-tailed bat (saccolaimus flaviventris) living in your house right now.
media.australian.museum/media/dd/ima...
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a cute cream and black bat hanging from a tree at night. a cute cream and black bat in someone’s hand, looking emotional.
March 25, 2025 at 3:53 PM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
once i’m done with the rocked tomb au, i have to get back to this fic, there’s some meat on this bone.
text from a google doc reading, “When she gets her first big girl apartment all on her own, it's in Tennessee, and even if it's a little shithole studio she rents on a month-by-month basis and pays through the nose for, she reserves a space in her too-small closet for all of the Max Garbage, like a shrine for a small and very sad god. The Wallows CD next to a my-first-acoustic-guitar. She feels like one of Jesus' groupies who hangs out around the rock waiting for him to come back so they can say, I knew it! I knew you were coming back! Look, I even kept your half-empty bottle of sleeping pills! Weird that she's conceiving of Max as Jesus in this scenario. She probably should've gone to church with her mom more and watched But I'm a Cheerleader less.”
March 20, 2025 at 6:25 PM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
SHE’S JUST 18!!!! GET AWAY FROM HER!!!!!
tip of his forefinger. As she watched, he made a pothook——then the finned spine of E. He wiped that E clean, and replaced it with A. He wiped that clean, and he drew the prison bars of H. This J and H he barred around with an uneven heart. She watched, and she said — "Teacher, may I ask a question?" "Sure," he said, surprised, and he shook his fingers free of clinging sand. "Shoot." "What does it mean to love God?" "Decent dinner and a bottle of average rosé. Maybe a movie. I'm not picky," he said.
February 24, 2025 at 12:01 AM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
i don't know how many memes i can fit into this fic, but i can certainly fit: song references.
text from a google doc, reading: "“Cytherea.” Gideon ducks her head to try and disguise the way her face colors whenever that name is brought up. “Cougars, man. I had to try it. Never again.” “The wretched Tridentarius sister.” “I never slept with Corona, and if I had, you would’ve heard about it. Everyone would’ve heard about it. You would be going onstage screaming a song called "I Slept with Someone in The Tridentarii and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me”.”
February 20, 2025 at 5:43 AM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
why did they yassify my girls.
February 9, 2025 at 1:10 AM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
context: i wanted to write a funny, comically annoying song for a book.

and i cannot stop it. it’s eaten my brain.
Chorus: Oh, I’m a barky puppy, Yap yap yap, Watch me wag my tail And watch me turn about. I’m a barky puppy, Aroo aroo aroo, Are you a barky puppy too? Verses: I’m a barky puppy, all night long, If the moon’s out, I sing my song, And when the moon sets, my job’s not done I go outside and I bark at the sun! I’m a barky puppy, that’s my right, I bark at every bird in sight, I bark at cats and I bark at sticks, And I bark-bark-bark just to get my kicks! I’m a barky puppy, yes indeed, I bark at folks and I bark at trees, If comes another dog, I stand up proud, I flop my ears and I bark EXTRA LOUD! I’m a barky puppy, that’s my creed, I bark without want, concern, or need, I bark if you want and I bark if you don’t, And I’ll bark all day, don’t think I won’t! I’m a barky puppy, honestly, It’s what my gods intended me, I bark for pay and I bark for free, and I BARK-BARK-BARK incessantly!
February 8, 2025 at 5:10 PM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
Paul Banging Out the Tunes.
text from a fanfic, reading: [Audio transcript from the bonus song “Paul Banging Out the Tunes” from the Hect & Sextus album The Sixth Installation.] Sextus: Hang on, keep it rolling, Paul is going to learn us a thing or two about real music. [Sounds of a parrot rolling on a keyboard. Sporadic key presses ensue.] Hect: They’re doing it. They’re banging out the tunes. [Paul stops pressing keys and begins to whistle the tune to The Tridentarii song “Eat Your Heart Out”.] Sextus: Paul! They’re famously litigious. Hect: We’re going to get canceled, Paul.
February 6, 2025 at 8:26 PM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
was indulgently revisiting a fic from a few years ago and realized that i forgot i put in a completely incomprehensible inside joke from the haven server in here. FIT! TO! KILL!
text from a fanfic on ao3, reading: “year. She looks fit to kill any other necromancer of her weight class, as vicious as a small and underfed rat in a box of smaller and more underfed rats. And then an expression of plain indigestion runs across her face and she starts coughing. Kiriona adjusts her grip involuntarily so that Harrow.”
February 2, 2025 at 5:40 AM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
January 28, 2025 at 7:28 PM
notaficwriter.bsky.social
hey i’m very good at writing fics. you should read my fics. i am speaking directly into your brain telling you to read my fics.
a fic on ao3, the snippet reading: “Hey, do you know any dispensaries we can stop at? You look like you could use a chill pill.” “Chloe, we’re old now. It’s not cool when we smoke weed, it’s sad. People will just think we’re doing it for our back pain.” “I never get back pain.” “Yes, you do.” Yes, she does. Whenever she sleeps on a mattress that’s too soft or when the thermostat is set lower than 68 degrees, like motherfucking clockwork. And she gets hangovers. She used to never get hangovers. She could drink like a fish and eat only cigarette butts she found on the floor and wake up as crisp and queer as a two dollar bill, but now she gets headaches and stalks around parties forcing dumbass kids to drink water and wakes up early on Sunday mornings to take walks when the streets are quiet. She gets heartburn from the same greasy diner food her mom raised her on. She’s old, uncool, and so fucking alone and she’s going to die old, uncool, and so fucking alone.
January 24, 2025 at 3:07 AM