Trying to soothe someone by singing but the only lyrics I know by heart is the national anthem
December 28, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Trying to soothe someone by singing but the only lyrics I know by heart is the national anthem
Why does every tv show need four POVs now. You could make a TV show about Napoleon and it’s going to have half the episode devoted to his admiral, his butler, and his neighbor.
December 27, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Why does every tv show need four POVs now. You could make a TV show about Napoleon and it’s going to have half the episode devoted to his admiral, his butler, and his neighbor.
Call me Barnes the way I’m so noble
December 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Call me Barnes the way I’m so noble
Letting my dog bring in a stick today after his walk and then going into the garage to grab a Christmas tree to let him know I’m better.
December 25, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Letting my dog bring in a stick today after his walk and then going into the garage to grab a Christmas tree to let him know I’m better.
Delta: We’ll Probably Get You There
December 21, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Delta: We’ll Probably Get You There
Accidentally added the chess breakdown of Diptayan Ghosh vs Ian Nepomniachti to the sex playlist
December 12, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Accidentally added the chess breakdown of Diptayan Ghosh vs Ian Nepomniachti to the sex playlist
Got charged $2,400 for submitting a help desk ticket. Excited to see this play out
December 12, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Got charged $2,400 for submitting a help desk ticket. Excited to see this play out
Mona Lisa was so right, fuck eyebrows
December 12, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Mona Lisa was so right, fuck eyebrows
The boys season five giving people hope one more time for Destiel romance
December 11, 2025 at 7:35 PM
The boys season five giving people hope one more time for Destiel romance
Making media so convoluted that people won’t attempt to make video essays about it is my dream.
December 11, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Making media so convoluted that people won’t attempt to make video essays about it is my dream.
Corporate said I can’t make a $160 million dollar entry without approval. So I will be making eight $20 million dollar entries to respect their wishes.
December 5, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Corporate said I can’t make a $160 million dollar entry without approval. So I will be making eight $20 million dollar entries to respect their wishes.
We should make a song that’s really awful and unlistenable - musicians every three albums
December 5, 2025 at 1:58 PM
We should make a song that’s really awful and unlistenable - musicians every three albums
Happy Friday to all who celebrate
November 26, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Happy Friday to all who celebrate
Work side quests suck nothing like the fantasy games. I emailed the wrong person and now I have 24hrs to make a presentation.
November 25, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Work side quests suck nothing like the fantasy games. I emailed the wrong person and now I have 24hrs to make a presentation.
I want a premium feature on the iPhone that I can make one of my contact’s phone randomly buzz without a notification. Willing to pay $10 per noto
November 24, 2025 at 8:19 PM
I want a premium feature on the iPhone that I can make one of my contact’s phone randomly buzz without a notification. Willing to pay $10 per noto
Reduce the amount of medication in a pill. I have better odds of remembering if I swallowed twelve pills this morning instead of one.
November 21, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Reduce the amount of medication in a pill. I have better odds of remembering if I swallowed twelve pills this morning instead of one.
New Wedding Vow: I will turn down any offer by Mr. Beast to get divorced no matter how large the sum of money
November 21, 2025 at 12:53 PM
New Wedding Vow: I will turn down any offer by Mr. Beast to get divorced no matter how large the sum of money
“International” House of Pancakes? Sounds like DEI to me IHOP
November 21, 2025 at 11:26 AM
“International” House of Pancakes? Sounds like DEI to me IHOP
Calling my boss by his full first, middle, and last name until he tells me to stop
November 20, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Calling my boss by his full first, middle, and last name until he tells me to stop
The hornets that occupy the stairwell are growing restless. Soon they will require a sacrifice of the flesh.
November 19, 2025 at 6:19 PM
The hornets that occupy the stairwell are growing restless. Soon they will require a sacrifice of the flesh.
Ranking Historical Authors by who would be intrigued by the OmegaVerse
November 18, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Ranking Historical Authors by who would be intrigued by the OmegaVerse
No Wonka, I want you to feel comfortable staying at my place but you can’t make it so my sink pours 7up without talking to me first.
November 14, 2025 at 3:15 PM
No Wonka, I want you to feel comfortable staying at my place but you can’t make it so my sink pours 7up without talking to me first.
Balance so good they started calling me the flamingo
November 13, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Balance so good they started calling me the flamingo
“Nancy Drew and the curious case of why is my company buying so many books? We do not sell books. I’ve never seen one in this building. Do we have a secret library under the west stair case? Everytime someone gets promoted do they get to buy a bunch of books for their new office?” - Only on Audible
November 13, 2025 at 9:19 PM
“Nancy Drew and the curious case of why is my company buying so many books? We do not sell books. I’ve never seen one in this building. Do we have a secret library under the west stair case? Everytime someone gets promoted do they get to buy a bunch of books for their new office?” - Only on Audible
If you have read receipts turned on for emails I will slash your tires.
November 6, 2025 at 3:42 PM
If you have read receipts turned on for emails I will slash your tires.