Millennial midlife crisis - bought an e-bike and a motorcycle helmet and spend 20 minutes a day riding around my neighborhood to feel some semblance of joy.

Went to the ER today for some back pain like I’ve never experienced (and I’ve dealt with a lot in that arena). $1300 and 3 hours later I had a pain patch and some prescription ibuprofen. Feeling a bit better, but idk if I feel thirteen hundred fucking dollars better.

hey siri where the FUCK is my vape?

Everything’s bullshit right now and I’ve unexpectedly got 5 stitches in my neck (I’m fine), so if anyone asks I’m just gonna tell ‘em I got stabbed.

Wild to me that Trump is just allowed. Like, at all? By anyone?

Had a dream that I met a werewolf. He took us shopping and gave advice on dog food for our corgi.

Fun Fact: Dogs are terrible at detecting sleight-of-hand magic.

Saturday, finally.

What the fuck is up Dennys?