You know it's too damn cold when you go out for one minute and come back with a clown nose. 🤡

Yeah, I read the Bible.

So we've got floods, snow-storms, and massive wildfires that are confirmed to be making *fire* tornadoes.

I'd ask mother-nature to take a chill-pill but I'd rather not have to excavate my car from an ice cube again...

Congrats to @theonion.com for purchasing Infowars!

May I suggest to keep viewers entertained during add breaks you hire Alex Jones to dance around in a jester outfit? Looks like he could use the money.

Just started watching Seinfeld yesterday, so nice to see the bee-movie guy got to move onto other stuff!

I'd make a list of interests to show what I'm about like everybody else is doing but my hobbies are so mismatched it'd just end up looking like that kid at the lunch table that mixes a bunch of random foods together.

(It was me, I was the child who ate cheese with pudding)

Ratatouille but it's in America, where Remy gets into a KFC but falls into the deep-frier before he can actually cook anything.

Pixar, hit me up.