NY Times Pitchbot
@nytpitchbot.bsky.social
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Parody. Merch: https://tinyurl.com/msjjmwpt
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nytpitchbot.bsky.social
In Soviet Union, news does you.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
The Constitution did not foresee the position of presidential chief of staff, so it’s hard to see what legitimate constraints could prevent Stephen Miller from becoming an all-powerful dictator.

by Jonathan Turley
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
Jefferson Davis Vance wants you to forget all about JD.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
Historically, the Insurrection Act has only been used in response to genuine emergencies. Some experts believe that if President Trump invokes the Insurrection Act simply as a pretext for a military invasion and occupation of multiple blue cities, it would represent a possible violation of norms.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
Pete Hegseth practices day drinking the right way.

by Ezra Klein
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
I wasn't prepared for how creepy the Tillie Norwood images are.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
Opinion | All the real-life potential 2028 Democratic nominees are weak. They should run an AI candidate instead.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
Opinion | Why Democrats should nominate Tillie Norwood in 2028.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
In this Ohio diner, conversion therapy is what the Browns and Bengals need after going 7 for 23 on third downs this weekend. But they do know this: if a Christian minister can't make your kid straight, no one can.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
It's impossible.

And perhaps it's true you under no circumstances have to hand it to Vivek, I give him credit for trying.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
I'm not a Vivek fan, but I always got the feeling he was a little too smart to fully embrace owning the libs at all costs. I'm not saying that because he's Indian—Kash is a dumb as a bag of rocks. Ppl say JD is smart too but I don't buy it.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
Americans were sick of M$DNC shitlibs and their foreign war machine, so they wisely voted for President Trump and his domestic war machine, which I do not support.

by Glenn Greenwald
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
How do Stephen Miller's relatives feel about the shame he's brought upon their family? Josh Barro and Ross Douthat drop by to explain.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
David Ellison's first major hires at CBS News have been right-wing ombudsman Kenneth Weinstein and right-wing editor-in-chief Bari Weiss. But his true political views remain a mystery.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
What the fuck happened to you, man? Your ass used to be beautiful.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
I stand corrected! Credit to him.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
The America First movement was tired of seeing American troops deployed in foreign countries. We want them deployed in America First.

by Stephen Miller
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
A groomsman in Donald Trump Jr.'s wedding is flaunting his access to the president as he pursues business deals in Pakistan, Germany, Iraq, Turkey, Serbia, Rwanda, Kazakhstan, and the Democratic Republic of Congo, raising new questions about Hunter Biden's work for Burisma.
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
Put the National Guard on the blockchain.

by Andrew Yang
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
Any meaningful peace plan will appease three constituencies: Israelis who need security, Gazans who need food and shelter, and American billionaires who need to stop hearing about protests at their alma maters.

by Bret Stephens
nytpitchbot.bsky.social
CBS News to move Israeli bureau to the West Bank.