Obinya
@obinyachizoret.bsky.social
A man living in this fantasy of life, death & dreams. The heart and mind of this shadowy man at all occasions is to me most familiar yet is neither I nor other.
Pinned
Obinya
@obinyachizoret.bsky.social
· Jun 27
I’m not in prison, but I feel trapped.
I’m not a martyr, but I feel like I’m sacrificing some part of myself.
The silence is filled with my own words… on another’s behalf. Crystalized memories that reflect a captured moment. Chipped and inset.
Who will remember, who will know?
Am I as alone as I—
I’m not a martyr, but I feel like I’m sacrificing some part of myself.
The silence is filled with my own words… on another’s behalf. Crystalized memories that reflect a captured moment. Chipped and inset.
Who will remember, who will know?
Am I as alone as I—
Leaving me behind in the name of self-deprivation.
Am I supposed to believe that?
What am I supposed to believe?
Abandoned all the same.
Tell me all the best you hope for me, all the good I deserve…
But if we’re happy, why’s it gotta change?
Everything changes, sure, but is the root in us, or…?
Am I supposed to believe that?
What am I supposed to believe?
Abandoned all the same.
Tell me all the best you hope for me, all the good I deserve…
But if we’re happy, why’s it gotta change?
Everything changes, sure, but is the root in us, or…?
January 2, 2026 at 12:59 AM
Leaving me behind in the name of self-deprivation.
Am I supposed to believe that?
What am I supposed to believe?
Abandoned all the same.
Tell me all the best you hope for me, all the good I deserve…
But if we’re happy, why’s it gotta change?
Everything changes, sure, but is the root in us, or…?
Am I supposed to believe that?
What am I supposed to believe?
Abandoned all the same.
Tell me all the best you hope for me, all the good I deserve…
But if we’re happy, why’s it gotta change?
Everything changes, sure, but is the root in us, or…?
Reposted by Obinya
MMXXVI First Awakening
January 1, 2026 at 2:17 PM
MMXXVI First Awakening
I’m a ghost. Not a dream, maybe a nightmare.
January 1, 2026 at 4:52 AM
I’m a ghost. Not a dream, maybe a nightmare.
I’ve got a shortcut to an exit to despair and I keep taking it, but I won’t exit. It’s almost like I think I deserve it…
January 1, 2026 at 12:42 AM
I’ve got a shortcut to an exit to despair and I keep taking it, but I won’t exit. It’s almost like I think I deserve it…
2025 is almost over.
So much has been going great since like 2021…
So much has sucked since like my birthday 2024…
I ask how to get over it.
I draw the 6 of Cups and the Fool to clarify.
It’s so difficult to just carry the good and the bad, to just keep stepping… why is it so difficult?
My Self?
So much has been going great since like 2021…
So much has sucked since like my birthday 2024…
I ask how to get over it.
I draw the 6 of Cups and the Fool to clarify.
It’s so difficult to just carry the good and the bad, to just keep stepping… why is it so difficult?
My Self?
December 31, 2025 at 7:28 PM
2025 is almost over.
So much has been going great since like 2021…
So much has sucked since like my birthday 2024…
I ask how to get over it.
I draw the 6 of Cups and the Fool to clarify.
It’s so difficult to just carry the good and the bad, to just keep stepping… why is it so difficult?
My Self?
So much has been going great since like 2021…
So much has sucked since like my birthday 2024…
I ask how to get over it.
I draw the 6 of Cups and the Fool to clarify.
It’s so difficult to just carry the good and the bad, to just keep stepping… why is it so difficult?
My Self?
2006
Didn’t even recognize the lyrics?
Almost 2026
Is this still my anthem?
Ah, those two riffs
1 @ what you said
…where you soar but ride the bass…
2 @ the chorus into/and the break
…the lead guitar melody is too nostalgic
Sole Mediator
Burning Soul
Bright
Alone
Const el
youtu.be/s_VwB91DYeI?...
Didn’t even recognize the lyrics?
Almost 2026
Is this still my anthem?
Ah, those two riffs
1 @ what you said
…where you soar but ride the bass…
2 @ the chorus into/and the break
…the lead guitar melody is too nostalgic
Sole Mediator
Burning Soul
Bright
Alone
Const el
youtu.be/s_VwB91DYeI?...
chill
YouTube video by Acid Android - Topic
youtu.be
December 28, 2025 at 3:54 PM
2006
Didn’t even recognize the lyrics?
Almost 2026
Is this still my anthem?
Ah, those two riffs
1 @ what you said
…where you soar but ride the bass…
2 @ the chorus into/and the break
…the lead guitar melody is too nostalgic
Sole Mediator
Burning Soul
Bright
Alone
Const el
youtu.be/s_VwB91DYeI?...
Didn’t even recognize the lyrics?
Almost 2026
Is this still my anthem?
Ah, those two riffs
1 @ what you said
…where you soar but ride the bass…
2 @ the chorus into/and the break
…the lead guitar melody is too nostalgic
Sole Mediator
Burning Soul
Bright
Alone
Const el
youtu.be/s_VwB91DYeI?...
Random thought
Aren’t therapists supposed to assist you in asking the right questions to help you identify how your behavior works yourself? Maybe a habit you want to break…
How are you assessing my behavior & motivations without a single question?
I’m talking to you but it’s second-hand somehow?
Aren’t therapists supposed to assist you in asking the right questions to help you identify how your behavior works yourself? Maybe a habit you want to break…
How are you assessing my behavior & motivations without a single question?
I’m talking to you but it’s second-hand somehow?
December 28, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Random thought
Aren’t therapists supposed to assist you in asking the right questions to help you identify how your behavior works yourself? Maybe a habit you want to break…
How are you assessing my behavior & motivations without a single question?
I’m talking to you but it’s second-hand somehow?
Aren’t therapists supposed to assist you in asking the right questions to help you identify how your behavior works yourself? Maybe a habit you want to break…
How are you assessing my behavior & motivations without a single question?
I’m talking to you but it’s second-hand somehow?
I feel like I’m on the verge of a worldline…
Is this the point to reconnect the shattered past or melt the parts into a certain future.
I have a totem. A shared item. Do I use this record to focus on the past and bring me and others to a past inflection point?
Would this next visit mean something?
Is this the point to reconnect the shattered past or melt the parts into a certain future.
I have a totem. A shared item. Do I use this record to focus on the past and bring me and others to a past inflection point?
Would this next visit mean something?
December 27, 2025 at 5:32 PM
I feel like I’m on the verge of a worldline…
Is this the point to reconnect the shattered past or melt the parts into a certain future.
I have a totem. A shared item. Do I use this record to focus on the past and bring me and others to a past inflection point?
Would this next visit mean something?
Is this the point to reconnect the shattered past or melt the parts into a certain future.
I have a totem. A shared item. Do I use this record to focus on the past and bring me and others to a past inflection point?
Would this next visit mean something?
F this bs
I feel like the people around me are suffering and I can’t do anything about it, but also it’s my fault somehow. It’s not a good feeling. Like what more should I be doing. I just want to be right. I would do anything.
I feel like the people around me are suffering and I can’t do anything about it, but also it’s my fault somehow. It’s not a good feeling. Like what more should I be doing. I just want to be right. I would do anything.
December 26, 2025 at 6:05 PM
F this bs
I feel like the people around me are suffering and I can’t do anything about it, but also it’s my fault somehow. It’s not a good feeling. Like what more should I be doing. I just want to be right. I would do anything.
I feel like the people around me are suffering and I can’t do anything about it, but also it’s my fault somehow. It’s not a good feeling. Like what more should I be doing. I just want to be right. I would do anything.
I hate meaning so much that I mean nothing.
Not the standpoint of sunyata
Not the standpoint of absolute nothingness
Not ripples, not waves, not snow, not ice…
I mean so much, that I’m abandoned
I can’t mean what I mean
I shouldn’t
I can’t be what I am
I shouldn’t
I have no choice
I’m really sad
Not the standpoint of sunyata
Not the standpoint of absolute nothingness
Not ripples, not waves, not snow, not ice…
I mean so much, that I’m abandoned
I can’t mean what I mean
I shouldn’t
I can’t be what I am
I shouldn’t
I have no choice
I’m really sad
December 26, 2025 at 7:25 AM
I hate meaning so much that I mean nothing.
Not the standpoint of sunyata
Not the standpoint of absolute nothingness
Not ripples, not waves, not snow, not ice…
I mean so much, that I’m abandoned
I can’t mean what I mean
I shouldn’t
I can’t be what I am
I shouldn’t
I have no choice
I’m really sad
Not the standpoint of sunyata
Not the standpoint of absolute nothingness
Not ripples, not waves, not snow, not ice…
I mean so much, that I’m abandoned
I can’t mean what I mean
I shouldn’t
I can’t be what I am
I shouldn’t
I have no choice
I’m really sad
I miss you… so much…
December 26, 2025 at 6:41 AM
I miss you… so much…
There’s things I don’t believe about myself that everyone tells me… even the people who “hate” me now.
I’m capable, I’m trusted, I’m a resource, I’m reliable…
But when I’m vulnerable…
I just haven’t been vulnerable with the right people…? Idk, they were vulnerable with me…
When I match V … I lose
I’m capable, I’m trusted, I’m a resource, I’m reliable…
But when I’m vulnerable…
I just haven’t been vulnerable with the right people…? Idk, they were vulnerable with me…
When I match V … I lose
December 24, 2025 at 6:26 PM
There’s things I don’t believe about myself that everyone tells me… even the people who “hate” me now.
I’m capable, I’m trusted, I’m a resource, I’m reliable…
But when I’m vulnerable…
I just haven’t been vulnerable with the right people…? Idk, they were vulnerable with me…
When I match V … I lose
I’m capable, I’m trusted, I’m a resource, I’m reliable…
But when I’m vulnerable…
I just haven’t been vulnerable with the right people…? Idk, they were vulnerable with me…
When I match V … I lose
Turned to divination.
Not about my loved one in the hospital.
No, instead I had an unspoken question about the direction I’ve taken with one who said they loved me.
She tapped into something.
Not sure I learned; it’s easy to confirm.
Waiting for someone without excuses for why they can’t be happy…or
Not about my loved one in the hospital.
No, instead I had an unspoken question about the direction I’ve taken with one who said they loved me.
She tapped into something.
Not sure I learned; it’s easy to confirm.
Waiting for someone without excuses for why they can’t be happy…or
December 24, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Turned to divination.
Not about my loved one in the hospital.
No, instead I had an unspoken question about the direction I’ve taken with one who said they loved me.
She tapped into something.
Not sure I learned; it’s easy to confirm.
Waiting for someone without excuses for why they can’t be happy…or
Not about my loved one in the hospital.
No, instead I had an unspoken question about the direction I’ve taken with one who said they loved me.
She tapped into something.
Not sure I learned; it’s easy to confirm.
Waiting for someone without excuses for why they can’t be happy…or
Everyday my life isn’t ruined, I’ve gotta be grateful, right? How would I even know it’s ruined?
Is it like as long as my life isn’t over?
Who do I thank if I’m grateful…?
Is it like as long as my life isn’t over?
Who do I thank if I’m grateful…?
December 23, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Everyday my life isn’t ruined, I’ve gotta be grateful, right? How would I even know it’s ruined?
Is it like as long as my life isn’t over?
Who do I thank if I’m grateful…?
Is it like as long as my life isn’t over?
Who do I thank if I’m grateful…?
This fear I have is tiring…
December 20, 2025 at 7:11 PM
This fear I have is tiring…
There’s this person I know that acts like they don’t know how sweet they are
They did things for me, gave stuff up for me, and kinda lifted me up onto a pedestal with their words/actions
I tried to acknowledge them, then they tried to convince me they hate me
Maybe it should have been a red flag?
They did things for me, gave stuff up for me, and kinda lifted me up onto a pedestal with their words/actions
I tried to acknowledge them, then they tried to convince me they hate me
Maybe it should have been a red flag?
December 20, 2025 at 7:05 PM
There’s this person I know that acts like they don’t know how sweet they are
They did things for me, gave stuff up for me, and kinda lifted me up onto a pedestal with their words/actions
I tried to acknowledge them, then they tried to convince me they hate me
Maybe it should have been a red flag?
They did things for me, gave stuff up for me, and kinda lifted me up onto a pedestal with their words/actions
I tried to acknowledge them, then they tried to convince me they hate me
Maybe it should have been a red flag?
Reposted by Obinya
I’m really scared that when I talk to them again it will be like talking to someone else.
As many different ways to read that, I mean.
I wouldn’t want another to repeat a trend. I wouldn’t want a memory to be lost.
This week has just been fear that I can’t bury, that I won’t accept.
No missing!!
As many different ways to read that, I mean.
I wouldn’t want another to repeat a trend. I wouldn’t want a memory to be lost.
This week has just been fear that I can’t bury, that I won’t accept.
No missing!!
December 20, 2025 at 8:42 AM
I’m really scared that when I talk to them again it will be like talking to someone else.
As many different ways to read that, I mean.
I wouldn’t want another to repeat a trend. I wouldn’t want a memory to be lost.
This week has just been fear that I can’t bury, that I won’t accept.
No missing!!
As many different ways to read that, I mean.
I wouldn’t want another to repeat a trend. I wouldn’t want a memory to be lost.
This week has just been fear that I can’t bury, that I won’t accept.
No missing!!
Someone said they loved me. Now they want to prove they hate me.
I’m scared I’m going to lose someone who has loved me for my entire life.
How can I still have room in my conscious thought for everyone?
I’m scared I’m going to lose someone who has loved me for my entire life.
How can I still have room in my conscious thought for everyone?
December 18, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Someone said they loved me. Now they want to prove they hate me.
I’m scared I’m going to lose someone who has loved me for my entire life.
How can I still have room in my conscious thought for everyone?
I’m scared I’m going to lose someone who has loved me for my entire life.
How can I still have room in my conscious thought for everyone?
I started the night wistful.
After a connection and a doze… I still am, but maybe it’s lighter.
There are those I fear I’m disconnected from.
But is that even possible?
In some ways, no.
That’s why…
It feels fake.
Words and Actions are connected in a more complicated fashion…
Leading to, sometimes
After a connection and a doze… I still am, but maybe it’s lighter.
There are those I fear I’m disconnected from.
But is that even possible?
In some ways, no.
That’s why…
It feels fake.
Words and Actions are connected in a more complicated fashion…
Leading to, sometimes
December 13, 2025 at 11:48 AM
I started the night wistful.
After a connection and a doze… I still am, but maybe it’s lighter.
There are those I fear I’m disconnected from.
But is that even possible?
In some ways, no.
That’s why…
It feels fake.
Words and Actions are connected in a more complicated fashion…
Leading to, sometimes
After a connection and a doze… I still am, but maybe it’s lighter.
There are those I fear I’m disconnected from.
But is that even possible?
In some ways, no.
That’s why…
It feels fake.
Words and Actions are connected in a more complicated fashion…
Leading to, sometimes
She asked me if she were the best.
I said no. I said she was the most “she”.
She sort of got me.
I said I was appreciative of her. I would rather be the most me, than the best. (Maybe… premised in liking me.)
At the very least, I wouldn’t want to be compared or judged negatively… like don’t
I said no. I said she was the most “she”.
She sort of got me.
I said I was appreciative of her. I would rather be the most me, than the best. (Maybe… premised in liking me.)
At the very least, I wouldn’t want to be compared or judged negatively… like don’t
December 13, 2025 at 11:36 AM
She asked me if she were the best.
I said no. I said she was the most “she”.
She sort of got me.
I said I was appreciative of her. I would rather be the most me, than the best. (Maybe… premised in liking me.)
At the very least, I wouldn’t want to be compared or judged negatively… like don’t
I said no. I said she was the most “she”.
She sort of got me.
I said I was appreciative of her. I would rather be the most me, than the best. (Maybe… premised in liking me.)
At the very least, I wouldn’t want to be compared or judged negatively… like don’t