The law office I worked at gave me a $1,000 bonus and the owner's wife gifted me her old wrapping organizer thing (it's a godsend, every xmas I whip out that bad boy). Thank you Elizabeth! #lawfirm #holidaybonus #wrapping #ilovetowrap #bowsandribbons #boxes #somanyfuckingboxes

If you only bled a little bit, but don’t want to waste the pad, put another smaller pad on top of the blood. Voila, clean pad. #lifehack #justgirlthings #alsoworkswithopenwounds #jkdontdothat

If you had vagina dentata would brushing your teeth be like masturbating? #vaginadentata #Teeth #downthere

I would love you even if you ate every meal like Dennis Quaid with the shrimp in The Substance (2024). #thesubstance #youareone #badchewinghabits #closeyourmouth #iloveyoutho #hencethetweet

Justice for Vanessa Williams’ 1998 Dance with Me. Underrated classic. #VanessaWilliams #DancewithMe #90s #dancemovie #savethebestforlast #Chayanne #toolittletoolate #missamerica

We have always created our own gods to our own detriment

I know im too high when my color-by-numbers app is stressful af #edibles #coloringbooksforadults #justletmecolorstuff #zencolor #coolapps #forcooladults

The ability to make music is the best thing we as a species have ever done evolutionary-wise. Right up there with orgasms #biology #anthropology? #ididntdowellinscience #chemistryclass #for3summers #inarow

Not watching a movie all the through feels like there’s a book open in my head. #cancelsequels #unlesstheyalreadyexist #likestarwarsoriginaltrilogy #theoneandonlytruestarwars

Wife and I spent the entirety of Clue (1985) talking about how great it is and hyping up every single scene. That’s 1 hour and 37 minutes talking to the love of my life. Marry your best friend #bffs4ever #soulmate #Cluethemovie #classiccinema #idontmaketherules

“I heard the FBI was here showing some kind of snuff film in suite two”

“Shut up, Brent you’re such a tool”

- the going theory among staff in the office building from that scene in The Cell (2000)

When did they try to kill Pluto? How old am I, I need to count backwards…

The hatred i feel is righteous your murder would just make me a hero.

Vote to bring back intermissions in movies! Just let me pee and refresh my snack then watch the rest of the film like in a civilized society.

AO3 just let me filter my bookmarks by word count! I weep, clicking by each page of my 1100 bookmarks in search of the right vibe.

Reading fanfiction is literally the only way I have coped with reality this year.

Wait I am also a 1468CP High Elf Sorcerer on Elder Scrolls Online. A vast improvement from 20 years ago when I read fanfiction and was a lvl 80 Blood Elf Mage in World of Warcraft. Progress.