Some of your brothers and sisters are excited because they like carnival rides and think speed and chaos is entertaining. But you feel slightly insane because you're the only one in the car who understands the danger everyone is in and no one seems capable of stopping the maniac at the wheel.”

Mom is the Republican party, riding in the passenger seat: she knows Dad is completely sloshed but she goes along with it because she's afraid of getting beaten up again if she says anything.

He takes
nap time. They order him McDonald's. He gets ice cream after dinner every night. He loves to use a sharpie when he's not supposed to. He wants to hear the same two songs over and over again. And he wears diapers. He's three years
old!"

⏺️ “Trans people” ➡️ “People who pick themselves up by their bootstraps and change what they dislike.”
⏺️ “Boycott [giant company]” ➡️ “Support mom and pop stores.”
⏺️ “Defund the police” ➡️ “Concerns about oversight and efficiency.”

Inspo: @nikitadumptruck

He’s always been a d*ck. Watch “Tin Cup.”
I’d heard that Don Johnson’s character was based on Phil

IKEA does too