revisiting old memories with new perspectives, a gentle reminder that it was all real and that the need to hurt me always got the best of you. you couldn't protect me from you, and yes (and yet!) I still see the best in you, I just see this, too and that you can't let it go.

sometimes it feels like it was all a dream, that the best of you was a hallucination. none of it makes sense. but you were a whole person: the figments, the fragments, and every time you derailed. it was all you the whole time. that was the worst thing, that you couldn't let it go.

slowly, slowly, slowly, after several years of winter trying to fit and fold and be still to indulge the moss of winter, i am seeing a season of springtime.

exploring different avenues to interact.