If anyone needs me, I'll be fantasizing about what I would do if presented with one of those pledges that insurance company employees have been asked to sign.

Everytime some shitty terrible celebrity starts trending, I hope against hope that they are dead. And then, inevitably, they are just being appointed to Trump's clown car of an administration.

I had a dream that John McEnroe was on Bake Off.

It went exactly how you'd think it would.