imagine u joined the crusades for dental insurance. you email HR (holy retribution) and they send back a scroll that just says “have u tried repenting?” bro i chipped a molar on communion bread and now i’m out-of-pocket and out of favor with the lord.
One night in a dream, I walked with the Lord by the beach. There were two footprints, mine and the Lord's. But during tough times, I just saw mine and I wondered why. So I asked the Lord, "Why leave me alone when I was down?" The Lord said, "sorry dude I needed a smoke break”
bowling is the only sport where you can be blackout drunk, covered in nacho cheese, and still be considered “in the zone.” the entire vibe is “divorced uncle olympics.”
