Pines
@oldpines.bsky.social
45 | he/they | pan
Just a married genderquizzical tree with a transmasc sapling in college, living on the high plains east of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Once a writer, sometimes a puma, always a tree. Paganish.
Just a married genderquizzical tree with a transmasc sapling in college, living on the high plains east of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Once a writer, sometimes a puma, always a tree. Paganish.
We have had a disappointingly low amount of snow here this year. It has been cold enough that it hangs around in shadowed pockets and the north side of hills and mountains, just to taunt us.
January 19, 2026 at 5:43 PM
We have had a disappointingly low amount of snow here this year. It has been cold enough that it hangs around in shadowed pockets and the north side of hills and mountains, just to taunt us.
How long is the call? We’ve had nighthawks out here in Moriarty, and their dive booms are pretty distinctive.
January 19, 2026 at 2:30 AM
How long is the call? We’ve had nighthawks out here in Moriarty, and their dive booms are pretty distinctive.
“Tell me again I need another person and I’ll hold your face underwater while I tell you the story of how I had to crawl upside down against an alpine stream heavy with snowmelt to get out from under a log bridge I slipped off of while wandering alone. It’ll be entertaining for both of us.”
January 18, 2026 at 7:00 PM
“Tell me again I need another person and I’ll hold your face underwater while I tell you the story of how I had to crawl upside down against an alpine stream heavy with snowmelt to get out from under a log bridge I slipped off of while wandering alone. It’ll be entertaining for both of us.”
Any time I see assembly instructions that say two people are required, I lean in close to the page and whisper, “You must not have grown up an only child in a rural area and been left to your own devices 90% of the time.”
If I’m feeling my sap, I might accuse them of being a little bitch.
If I’m feeling my sap, I might accuse them of being a little bitch.
January 18, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Any time I see assembly instructions that say two people are required, I lean in close to the page and whisper, “You must not have grown up an only child in a rural area and been left to your own devices 90% of the time.”
If I’m feeling my sap, I might accuse them of being a little bitch.
If I’m feeling my sap, I might accuse them of being a little bitch.
And fourth…that politician is probably more likely to spend it on alcohol and drugs anyway.
January 17, 2026 at 6:16 PM
And fourth…that politician is probably more likely to spend it on alcohol and drugs anyway.
“But they’re probably just going to use it to harm themselves with drugs and alcohol!”
First, they’re much more likely to spend it on food.
Second, fuck you for defining how a person should deal with an unbearable situation.
Third, at least they’re not harming tens of thousands of others.
First, they’re much more likely to spend it on food.
Second, fuck you for defining how a person should deal with an unbearable situation.
Third, at least they’re not harming tens of thousands of others.
January 17, 2026 at 6:16 PM
“But they’re probably just going to use it to harm themselves with drugs and alcohol!”
First, they’re much more likely to spend it on food.
Second, fuck you for defining how a person should deal with an unbearable situation.
Third, at least they’re not harming tens of thousands of others.
First, they’re much more likely to spend it on food.
Second, fuck you for defining how a person should deal with an unbearable situation.
Third, at least they’re not harming tens of thousands of others.
T…
I cannot…CANnot…express my appreciation enough.
You are being too generous.
I cannot…CANnot…express my appreciation enough.
You are being too generous.
January 17, 2026 at 6:25 AM
T…
I cannot…CANnot…express my appreciation enough.
You are being too generous.
I cannot…CANnot…express my appreciation enough.
You are being too generous.
Looks like it could take a bunch of shafts.
January 16, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Looks like it could take a bunch of shafts.
It’s so hard to feel like you’re following the same path and see everyone else pulling far ahead.
January 16, 2026 at 6:08 AM
It’s so hard to feel like you’re following the same path and see everyone else pulling far ahead.
I miss being able to text without looking.
January 15, 2026 at 8:20 PM
I miss being able to text without looking.
Walking down from UMD to the lake at 10 every other night to walking the shore during the one year I could tolerate of college was particularly fun this time of year. Always wondered if one night I’d hit a frozen patch and take the fast route to Superior.
January 15, 2026 at 8:19 PM
Walking down from UMD to the lake at 10 every other night to walking the shore during the one year I could tolerate of college was particularly fun this time of year. Always wondered if one night I’d hit a frozen patch and take the fast route to Superior.
There are so many obvious problems and error vectors in this jackass’ logic.
January 15, 2026 at 3:23 PM
There are so many obvious problems and error vectors in this jackass’ logic.
Have your cunt and serve it too
January 15, 2026 at 6:08 AM
Have your cunt and serve it too
Your monkey brain, dick hidden in the hopefully waterproof internals of a Gateway with clappable cheeks, suddenly has to come to terms with a lot. A Lot.
Plus, a faceless stranger half a world away is sitting in their living room in a VR headset with blue balls, waiting on hold with tech support.
Plus, a faceless stranger half a world away is sitting in their living room in a VR headset with blue balls, waiting on hold with tech support.
January 14, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Your monkey brain, dick hidden in the hopefully waterproof internals of a Gateway with clappable cheeks, suddenly has to come to terms with a lot. A Lot.
Plus, a faceless stranger half a world away is sitting in their living room in a VR headset with blue balls, waiting on hold with tech support.
Plus, a faceless stranger half a world away is sitting in their living room in a VR headset with blue balls, waiting on hold with tech support.
Companion androids that can be occupied and controlled by another person remotely.
Why is that a Horror? Let’s say you get chummy with your fuckable chat bot and get right into The Business. You and your technologically astral projected international friend are going at it.
Their service drops.
Why is that a Horror? Let’s say you get chummy with your fuckable chat bot and get right into The Business. You and your technologically astral projected international friend are going at it.
Their service drops.
January 14, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Companion androids that can be occupied and controlled by another person remotely.
Why is that a Horror? Let’s say you get chummy with your fuckable chat bot and get right into The Business. You and your technologically astral projected international friend are going at it.
Their service drops.
Why is that a Horror? Let’s say you get chummy with your fuckable chat bot and get right into The Business. You and your technologically astral projected international friend are going at it.
Their service drops.
Yeah, the thumb-reachable post button is still on mine, too. Thankfully.
January 14, 2026 at 10:55 PM
Yeah, the thumb-reachable post button is still on mine, too. Thankfully.
Tech bros read Hitchhiker’s Guide and didn’t realize that the Heart of Gold was meant to be obnoxious and off-putting.
January 14, 2026 at 10:50 PM
Tech bros read Hitchhiker’s Guide and didn’t realize that the Heart of Gold was meant to be obnoxious and off-putting.