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Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

470 followers 1.5K following 230 posts

Baseball, crosswords, gardening.

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Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

From a scene involving DeFORest Kelley.

(Note: deleted and reposted with alt text.)

GENESIS IS PLANET
FOR BIDDEN
- STAR TREK III:
THE SEARCH
FOR SPOCK

November 9, 2025 at 2:15 AM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

last one

(for now)

November 9, 2025 at 2:13 AM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

November 9, 2025 at 2:08 AM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

This is kinda fun!

November 9, 2025 at 2:03 AM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

Sign reading:
In this house, we believe
Your mom matters
Your mom is human rights
No mom is illegal
Your mom is real
Your is mom
Your mom is everything
YOUR MOM.

August 23, 2025 at 12:59 AM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

Yes, he likes She Done Him Wrong.

“‘She Done Him Wrong’: Two slight faults must be pardoned in this film: one is the incoherent ending, which seems like a last-minute change of mind; the other, the horrendous Spanish title, ‘Nacida para peace’ (Born to Sin), which drove away many viewers, perhaps even the best ones. With the exception of these minor errata, the film is interestingly satisfactory. Mae West, in her role as a splendid floozy, as a physical woman, notably surpasses Jean Harlow and—why not say it—Marlene. She sings some sorrowful blues that I want to hear again the third time I see the film. The setting—gaudy, vulgar New York at the turn of the century, with its neighborhood bosses, its dandies with tilted tophats and straight six-shooters, its busy prostitutes with cinched waists and delicate hairdos, its nasal Methodist hymns, its accusations, sudden rages and parties—is touching.”

July 12, 2025 at 3:57 PM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

Borges is right about King Kong, of course. But my favorite of his movie reviews is the one he wrote for “Now, Voyager”.

Page 261 of Jorge Luis Borges’ “Selected Non-Fictions”.

“The doctrine of the transmigration of souls and circular time, or the Eternal Return, was suggested (it is said) by paramnesia, by the sudden, disturbing impression of having already lived the present moment. No matter how forgetful, there is not a single moviegoer in Buenos Aires—at 6:30 and 10:45pm—who has not experienced this impression. Hollywood, like the Greek Tragedians, has stuck for many years to ten or twelve basic plots: the aviator who dies in a convenient catastrophe in order to save the friend whom his wife loves; the deceitful typist who does not refuse the gifts of furs, apartments, cars, and tiaras, but who slaps or kills the giver when he ‘goes too far’; the unspeakable and acclaimed reporter who seeks the friendship of a gangster with the sole motive of betraying him and making him die on the gallows…

”The latest victim of this disconcerting asceticism is Miss Bette Davis. They have made her portray the following romance: a woman, weighed down by a pair of eyeglasses and a domineering mother, considers herself ugly and insipid; a psychiatrist (Claude Rains) persuades her to vacation among palm trees, to play tennis, to visit Brazil, to take off her glasses, to change dressmakers. The five-part treatment works: the captain of the ship who brings her home repeats the obvious truth that not one of the other women aboard has had Miss Bette Davis’ success. In the face of this endorsement, a niece, previously intimidating in her sarcasm, now sobs for forgiveness. Across the screens of the most remote movie houses, the film spreads its bold thesis: a disfigured Miss Davis is less beautiful.

“The distorted drama I have summarized is called ‘Now, Voyager’. It is directed by a certain Irving Rapper, who might not be stupid, but who has now unfortunately degraded the tragic heroine of ‘The Little Foxes’, ‘The Letters’, and ‘Of Human Bondage’.”

July 12, 2025 at 5:35 AM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

Two garden pix. Our patch of poached egg plant, and a mixed-up asparagus. 🌱

A few dozen small flowers viewed from above. The flowers have five heart-shaped petals, and together the petals form a large, circular yellow center with white edges.

An asparagus spear twisting down and left and then looping back up.

May 17, 2025 at 11:35 PM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

Time to bake up a new caption for the New Yorker Caption Contest, me hearties.

A ship captain and two of his crew sit around a table drinking coffee? That can’t be right, but they sure look like coffee mugs to me. Anyway, you know how captain’s are often depicted with hooks for hands? This one has a kitchen whisk, and he’s speaking.

January 31, 2025 at 6:48 PM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

This week’s New Yorker Caption Contest will leave you blubbering.

I want to win this dumb, maddening contest someday, but I probably won’t. Let’s try to have some fun in the meantime. Reply with your own captions.

Setting: a music studio. A goateed sound engineer speaks into a microphone. Behind the glass, a whale, standing behind a mic hanging from the ceiling, holds a set of headphones to its ear.

January 24, 2025 at 3:47 PM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

While discussing ICING (Tuesday’s Wordle solution), my sister decides to Canadian-splain.

Chat between my sister and me. My sister notes that “an icing call in hockey occurs when one team sends the puck from behind the halfway line and into the opposing half and beyond the goal line without scoring.”

I say, “I do know what icing is, sis.”

She says, “Sorry my goal was just to educate (a goal in hockey is when the hockey puck goes into the net).”

January 24, 2025 at 5:09 AM

Carl Omniart

@omniart.bsky.social

A few years back I created a logo for an online baseball league using the image of Bob Uecker loosening up his Cardinals before Game 2 of the 1974 World Series by shagging fly balls with a tuba.