Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons
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only-fons.bsky.social
Alfons Mueller - Only-Fons
@only-fons.bsky.social
310 followers 99 following 130 posts
I'm a middle-aged, married, gay bear comedian sharing life’s quirks through stand-up. 🎤🐻 Grand Rapids, MI, with humor touching on marriage, corporate life & a bit of weightlifting. 🌈🎭 Email: [email protected]
Next Shows: www.alfonsmueller.com
Posts Replies Media Videos
only-fons.bsky.social
🎁🎄 Last Christmas present, I swear.

I uploaded my newest stand-up set:
12 min of cheap jokes, an even cheaper Santa costume, & old man drag energy.

Watch it on YouTube, leave a like, a comment or just money:

👉 www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnc7...

www.instagram.com/reel/DSooVIR...
only_fons on Instagram: "🎁🎄 A CHRISTMAS PRESENTFor the people who follow my comedy.For the people who clicked by accident.And for the family members I for…"
🎁🎄 A CHRISTMAS PRESENTFor the people who follow my comedy.For the people who clicked by accident.And for the family members I forgot to text.My last show before Christmas turned into a full old man drag stand-up set — sequins, German accent, anxiety meds, Midwest winter, and jokes doing the emotional heavy lifting.So I wrapped it up and put the full 12 minutes from Brewery Outré on YouTube.👉 Link is in my bio.Watch it, laugh a little, and if you feel generous:leave a like, a comment, or share it — as a small Christmas present back to me and my comedy persona 🎅💅#ChristmasPresent #StandUpComedy #OldManDrag #QueerComedy #OnlyFonsView all comments
www.instagram.com
December 26, 2025 at 1:01 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
🎁 A Christmas present 🎁

For everyone who follows me, everyone who ended up here by chance,
& the family members I forgot.

🎄 The full 12-minute old stand-up set from Brewery Outré is now on YouTube.
👉 youtu.be/vnc7ICYRAUI

#ChristmasPresent #StandUpComedy #OldManDrag #QueerJoy #OnlyFons
Red Hat, Big Chesticles & Bavarian Demons | Stand-Up Comedy
YouTube video by Alfons Müller
youtu.be
December 24, 2025 at 6:03 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
From red-hat feared gangster to your daddy’s Santa fantasy 🎅💦
Brewery Outré Comedy Show never misses - but this one came with extra jolly, extra ho-ho-hoes, and questionable Christmas morals.
Old Man Drag season is officially OPEN.

#StandUpComedy #Kalamazoo #OldManDrag #SantaClause #Comedy
December 20, 2025 at 4:35 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
When the orange pus yam tweets about tragedy, I do what Germans do best: explain things. 🇩🇪💅
Tonight: the real meaning of “TDS.”
Spoiler: it’s the hope that the Files gonna be released before the Dementia is deleting everything 🧠📱

#StandUpComedy #RobReiner #TDS #OnlyFons #despicable
December 16, 2025 at 2:30 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
Blast from the Past ➡️ Blast into Tonight’s Show 💥
Flo’s Pizzeria, Belmont by North Kent Comedy Productions! 🍕
Dropping stupid jokes beside actual talent —
and even PE teachers can’t bully this. 😎

🍕 Shared pizza knots + unsolicited German accent.

#OnlyFons #StandUpComedy #BlueskyComedy #Michigan
December 11, 2025 at 5:48 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
POV: You came for jokes, and I gave you UTI-in-cutie energy, famine-eating, poopbag Olympics & Amazon Fairy Day ✨💩
Also auditioning as the next Ozempic Before Photo. Wish me luck. 😂
#comedy #standup #onlyfons #gaytiktok #fyp #ozempic #utiincutie #bearsofbluesky
December 4, 2025 at 8:19 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
When Thanksgiving/Family-, Friends-, Self- & even Bear-Giving says goodbye and Mobster-Xmas kicks the door in.
Yes, I revealed the glitter tank. Yes, Old Man Drag is now seasonal. 🍂➡️🎄🔥

#OnlyFons #Comedy #StandUp #Funny #HolidaySeason
November 30, 2025 at 9:34 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
As the news cycle tries to bury the Epstein Files under another “surprise” geopolitical crisis (hello, Venezuela), I offer a different distraction:

A throwback to my ranking of future presidents by PWB: President With Benefits.

#StandUp #comedy #satire #germanhumor #michiganlife #onlyfons
November 30, 2025 at 4:08 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
West Michigan — after Thanksgiving, you’ll need a laugh.
Good news: I’m at Dr. Grins on Nov 29th.
Even better news: the entire flying-turkey promo was made with AI.

🎟️ GrinStix.com
Come recover with comedy.

#Comedy #StandUp #GrandRapids #ThanksgivingWeekend #WestMichigan
November 27, 2025 at 2:54 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
The most self-censored clip I’ve ever posted — because apparently history, politics, and gay reactions don’t mix unless there’s a saxophone battle involved 🎷😏
The world’s gone wild!

#Comedy #StandUpComedy #Satire #DarkHumor #TDS #OnlyFons #CancelCulture #WTF
November 24, 2025 at 2:46 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
Saginaw, MI welcomed me with open arms and possibly haunted walls.
“Fat Steve Feeds the Kids” was pure chaos in the best way.
All the comics slayed — enough that I could roast everyone including myself.
Talking big bellies and Wicked Part 2: For Good.
#Comedy #OnlyFons #Standup #Wicked2 #BigBelly
November 16, 2025 at 5:58 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
Small crowd. Big laughs.
Turns out jokes can work — especially when you’re roasting yourself. 😏

Next Sat.: Saginaw, MI — Fat Steve Feeds the Kids!
Bring food instead of cash.
Let’s make comedy feed more. 🥫🎤

#ComedyForACause #MichiganComedy #Saginaw #StandUp #FatSteveFeedsTheKids #OnlyFons
November 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
🧛‍♂️ This Halloween, I unleashed my most haunting creation: Alfons the GER-MAN.
Part satire, part horror story, all accent.
If this post disappears, it’s not a ghost — it’s the shadowban.
Like and repost to keep the monster alive.
#StandUpComedy #Halloween #DarkComedy #GermanHumor #Comedy
October 31, 2025 at 2:03 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
Wrestling’s newest villain enters comedy: All-Fotz the GER-MAN — 350 lbs of organized rage and golden paperwork.
See him this Wednesday at River City Saloon, Grand Rapids.

#Comedy #Wrestling #AllFotz #TheGerman #GrandRapidsComedy #AltComedy #StandUp
October 28, 2025 at 11:36 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
New week, new set — straight from San Francisco.
The full SF Eagle set is live on YouTube.

youtu.be/85z4Ae5OB10

It’s equal parts cultural exchange, gay anthropology, and cheese science. 🧀

#Comedy #GermanComedian #StandUp #SFComedy #OnlyFons
Grin & BEAR Comedy | Alfons Mueller – German Humor, Culture Clashes & Belly Laughs
YouTube video by Alfons Müller
youtu.be
October 27, 2025 at 4:15 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
This Halloween season… laughter meets lucha.
The mask is on, the jokes are sharp, and the Scary Migrant fights for your laughs.
🇩🇪💀 One mic. Four shows. Infinite chaos.

#GERMANMAN #HalloweenComedy #LuchadorLaughs #ScaryMigrant #OnlyFons #MidwestComedy #StandUp #Comedy
October 26, 2025 at 12:59 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
Did my first outdoor set at Bearrison Street Fair in San Francisco.
Bears, sunshine, and a protest called No Kings.
So I told them what we Germans did with ours. 🇩🇪
Call it comedy with historical context.

#StandUp #Bearrison #Comedy #OnlyFons #GayComedian #NoKings
October 20, 2025 at 7:37 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
Last night’s Grin & BEAR show was a riot — thank you @safewordscomedy for the mic and mayhem.
Next: Bearrison Street Fair Mainstage, 2:30 PM today.
German accent. Queer chaos. Public therapy disguised as comedy.

#Comedy #BearrisonStreetFair #Standup #QueerComedian #GayBear #LGBTQComedy
October 18, 2025 at 6:15 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
🐻 The bears are dramatic, but the laughs are real.

Catch me live at Comedy Oakland, Mushin 2.0, this Thursday Oct 16, 8PM!

No drink minimums. No hidden fees.

📍Mushin 2.0 — 416 13th St, Oakland
🎟️ Tickets at ComedyOakland.com

#ComedyOakland #OnlyFons #BayAreaComedy #StandUp #LiveComedy
October 15, 2025 at 11:48 AM
only-fons.bsky.social
Half-hairy➡️Half-shaved🟰Fully committed.
I’ve become the Gen X nonfluencer: my torso was worth investing in 🪒

Misunderstood def the assignment.

🗓️ This week: 3 shows in San Francisco (Thu–Sat)
All Info: www.alfonsmueller.com

#Comedy #Chubby #Chaser #BodyHair #SanFranciscoComedy #OnlyFons
October 12, 2025 at 12:58 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
🐂 Two bears 🦬. One train station 🚂. Zero mercy. KIDNEYSTONE =
The Yellowstone × Brokeback Mountain mashup you didn’t ask for. 🤠
See the real chaos live: Bearrison Street Fair + Grin & BEAR @ SF Eagle Oct 17 + 18, SF!
All Info: www.alfonsmueller.com
#Comedy #Bearrison #OnlyFons #Yellowstone #StandUp
October 11, 2025 at 1:04 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
🧸 Kalamazoo — tonight gets thick, hairy & highly questionable.
Testing new Bear Comedy material for #Bearrison Street Fair next week.

📍 Brewery Outrè Comedy
🕗 8 PM
🍺 Same gay, new testing ground.

#StandUpComedy #BearCulture #OnlyFons #BlueskyBears #ChubbyChubbyChaser
October 10, 2025 at 1:04 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
🎥 Meet Gary, 52 — searching for love since VHS. 💔
He’s AI-generated, emotionally unavailable, and probably still rewinding his last breakup.
But I’m real: on Oct 18 I’m coming to #Bearrison in SF to rock your stage (and maybe your daddy issues).
💅🇩🇪 #BearrisonStreetFair #GayComedy #OnlyFons #Sora2
October 8, 2025 at 1:14 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
Solved the loneliness epidemic with one naughty German saying. And some dating App Advices!

📺 NEW on YouTube: my full 7-minute set from Ann Arbor’s Say What! Open Mic:
👉 Watch here: youtu.be/NrxWDwrULRc

#StandupComedy #GermanComic #LonelinessEpidemic #MichiganComedy #OnlyFons
October 2, 2025 at 12:58 PM
only-fons.bsky.social
Lost at “Kingpin of Comedy Semifinal.” 🎤👑
I brought Fat Bear Week 🐻🍩, Lederhosen drag 🧓🏻🇩🇪 & functional depression 😅💊… still no top 3. 🙃
More spiral fuel 🔄, more grind 💪🔥.

#Comedy #StandUp #WorkInProgress
#Lederhosen
September 30, 2025 at 12:21 PM