just watched my dad scratch his back on a doorjamb like a bear. classic behavior

:(

often the key to life is making an attractive breakfast

a guy in my line at work (movie theater, concessions stand) made a big show of rolling his eyes and scoffing because he was seeing Wicked with his girlfriend and he needed me to know he didn't want to be there. I wanted so badly to offer to watch it with her instead

resident evil? no thanks. where is resident kind

if I could give high school yearbook superlatives after the fact mine would be "most likely to say in an awestruck voice, 'Look at the sky!' while looking at the sky in wonderment"

there was a spider stuck in the bathroom sink so I used a hand towel to make a more spider-friendly ramp out and I'm pleased to report it worked. eight small steps for averykind

guinea pig that looks like a toupee?

how about this gif of julien bashir