I needed to be the person that saw the person in the room that no one else saw… and I needed to see them.

I was never telling the wrong story.

The wrong me was trying to tell the right story. But I wasn’t ready.

You ever cry while making rice? I’m crying while making rice.

About small actions, about not doing the right thing before it felt right or it was good, but because we’re all trying to survive together. To write the story I wanted, I needed to survive a pandemic. I needed to survive being a leader up against an abusive system at work.

I attended a session recently. About using anger to bring about change. I carry a lot of anger now. A *lot*.

The me that just survived wasn’t the me that could write UAMM. Nor was the me that thrived. The version of me who could write it needed to be the one that understood specific things.

But I have learned that enduring doesn’t mean doing nothing. Sometimes enduring means making your suffering for something, even when you don’t know what that is yet. Even if you’re just walking in circles figuring it out.

I wrote ALIAM for who and where I was in 2018. But UAMM required the 2025 version of me to exist in order for it to understand the line that was through it. I always knew there was no redemption, there was no forgiveness, and there were no heroics for Daniel. There was only enduring.

I guess it took a work crisis to figure out UAMM. 😂

And I have the next few chapters planned out, so enjoy the quiet while we have it.

Guys my husband is passive aggressively hanging out near that lady and he’s not trying to troll her but he’s trolling her.

Lastly: no I don’t feel that the person who plays the song the best should play it. This is how people grow. But when I dude says I can’t play a song so his buddy can when his buddy is already on everything. Literally this is a song in my musical DNA!

I’m playing Pink Pony Club followed by Mama I’m Coming Home which thematically is fun.

I have a cowboy hat with rhinestone fringe *whatever I do what I want*

In turn, I changed one of the songs I picked for the show this weekend just so the banjo player would have another song to play on.

I decided to ignore the recommendation to not hire someone on a performance plan because I think people deserve chances.

It’s what you deserve ❤️

Ok sorry if any of this makes me sound bad. I just had to unload a little. Just a little.

Buy a little house to put a music studio in it. Why is that petty? I’m also snapping up before fake positivity lady can buy it. Ok maybe we already made a down payment. Screw that lady, buying this place and making a music room.

Tempted to wear a shirt that says “radiating positivity” in front of the lady who has been a total bitch to us while pretending she’s a ball of positivity to everyone else.

Probably I’ll just look cute. Especially fun after she dogged us for our weight.

The vocalist said he’s been “working on it” with the other drummer and that’s why I can’t play on it. No, it’s because that’s your buddy, even if he doesn’t catch the vibe of the song at all. (No shade to the drummer, tho, he’s an amazing guy on all fronts, it’s the vocalist that annoyed me).

🤷‍♀️