Unionize Santa's Elves
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padraigkingsley.bsky.social
Unionize Santa's Elves
@padraigkingsley.bsky.social
860 followers 660 following 2.5K posts
Writer, Musician, and Utterly Terrible Dancer. 🖤s rock n' roll, time travel, mutants, & chaos magic and absolutely hates Journey. he/him/sé/é
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padraigkingsley.bsky.social
Okay but which Doctor Who was it? My money's on Eleven.
Doctor Who Gave Matthew Perry Ketamine
December 4, 2025 at 5:58 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
My kid wanted extra screen time today so I said "Okay" and made him watch the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL all the way through.

Hashtag no regrets.
A kindergarten watching a TV showing the star wars holiday special
December 4, 2025 at 12:28 AM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
I just stumbled on this 2003 interview with the Kings of Nuthin', and I was frankly comforted to see that corporate venues and a lack of all-ages shows are just as constant as bad traffic and big guys in shorts drinking iced coffee in january
Slick: You go to another city and an all ages show is just a normal thing. Here it’s a huge event, anywhere other than in the sticks or a VFW Hall. To have one at a club in Boston is really rare, it almost never happens. You ask about it out of town, they’re like “Yeah, we have ‘em all the time.” Anyplace, every town has their all ages punk club except here. Zack: We’ll go to a small town, they’re like, “Aw, this town stinks! There’s nothing happening…” We’re like “What are you talking about? You have a place that has shows every week that 15 year old kids can get in to!” That’s pretty awesome. There’s only a few places that year after year can have all ages shows, places like Gilman Street in California, and Fireside Bowl in Chicago. You know, we’ve had a few and we lost a few, and Boston can never really get a regular spot the kids can depend on. Torr: I remember when I was younger and I was going to shows, Boston was one of the biggest scenes in the country as far as I can recall. And it’s sad that it’s become what it has. Cause back then all ages shows were everywhere, we had tons of clubs that would have then, and things have really shut down since then. Kristen: What’s your perception of the general punk rock scene in Boston? Torr: Oh, it’s huge! There’s no doubt about that. Just like any city, it goes up and down…Boston’s always had a huge scene, it’s well known for it. But unfortunately these days because of the politics, the kids have no place to go. They can’t see bands, you have to go outside of the town. Either that or you have to go through Clear Channel and Lansdowne Street. You know all about that!
December 3, 2025 at 4:58 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
A better world is possible
The Predator Venn Diagram meme, showing similarities between Santa Claus and Magneto: white hair, wears red, likes the North Pole, knows an elf, NORAD tracks him, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
December 2, 2025 at 2:04 AM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
If we're being technical, our forefathers were mostly foreigners themselves, and they largely built the country with the blood of the actual native population, so…
A tweet from Shitty Noem: I just met with the President. I am recommending a full travel ban on every damn country that's been flooding our nation with killers, leeches, and entitlement junkies. Our forefathers built this nation on blood, sweat, and the unyielding love of freedom—not for foreign invaders to slaughter our heroes, suck dry our hard-earned tax dollars, or snatch the benefits owed to AMERICANS. WE DON'T WANT THEM.
December 2, 2025 at 1:58 AM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
NO NO NOONONO WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

NO ONE IS FREE UNTIL WE'RE ALL FREE, AND THAT MEANS FREE FROM SURVEILLANCE CAPITALISM GUIDED BY AI HALLUCINATIONS JFC
An Al model trained on prison phone calls now looks for planned crimes in those calls A US telecom company trained an Al model on years of inmates' phone and video calls and is now piloting that model to scan their calls, texts, and emails in the hope of predicting and preventing crimes.
December 1, 2025 at 5:15 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
Accidentally dumped my sliced avocado into my coffee instead of onto my toast, AMA
Chunky avocado slices sticking out of a cup of coffee
December 1, 2025 at 1:35 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
When Mariah Carey sings "Santa Claus won't make me happy / with a toy on Christmas day," it's because the Lelo Dot Vibrator hadn't been invented when the song was written.
The Lelo Dot Vibrator, a Wirecutter favorite sex toy
November 30, 2025 at 3:40 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
What if tariffs are really just edging for Americans
The side of a shipping boat in Boston harbor, with the words "USCG Security Zone — Illegal to Come"
November 28, 2025 at 10:49 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
"You can use Grok AI to roast your friends!"

Oh yeah well, for my 40th birthday, my 5-year-old gave a Thomas Pynchon novel to a skeleton. Grok could never hurt me like this.
A skeleton in a blue hoodie reading the new Thomas Pynchon novel
November 28, 2025 at 1:10 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
We're all puppets, Laurie. I'm just a puppet who can see the strings.
A giant Thanksgiving turkey in a pilgrim hat declares "I AM TIRED OF EARTH. THESE PEOPLE. I AM TIRED OF BEING CAUGHT IN THE TANGLE OF THEIR LIVES."
November 26, 2025 at 12:52 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
I absolutely adore the way that @parkermolloy.com weaves so many multimedia allusions into this incredibly thoughtful interview with the inimitable @jael.bsky.social

open.substack.com/pub/readtpa/...
It’s the same dynamic that lets strongmen turn governance into spectacle — journalists who know they’re being played but can’t stop themselves from amplifying the performance. “‘horseglue’ was this little mental game I would play, almost like a tic, like a fidget spinner in my head,” [Holzman] told me.
November 25, 2025 at 7:57 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
Biblical society spread and flourished over "pagan" society as a direct result of colonial violence but sure, let's just ignore that pesky little detail
There is a reason why biblical society spread and flourished while pagan morality suffered a long dormancy. Biblical morality undergirds a system that allows cooperation and social trust. Its rules about desert provide certainty about what you — a thinking, choosing person with agency — have to do to stay out of trouble. Going to a job and doing legitimate work, even if it’s unpopular, is not going to land you in prison or under attack. You can control what you do and count on the rules to tell you when you’re putting yourself at risk. Society will judge you based on what you did. From THE NATIONAL REVIEW: "An Insidious New Morality Is Giving License to Kill — On neo-pagan notions of justice, power, and violence"
November 24, 2025 at 6:04 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
Wow can't believe that the same major record labels that partly own Spotify would find yet another way to extract resources from actual working musicians.

Bring back the OG Limewire, cowards.
www.reuters.com/business/med...
Major music labels strike licensing deals with AI streaming startup Klay, Bloomberg News reports
November 21, 2025 at 5:22 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
New Oxford comma fail meme just dropped
The Harvard scientist, Kim Kardashian and the comet that probably isn’t an alien spaceship
November 19, 2025 at 4:39 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
"Project Prometheus?" Really, bro?

Does this also mean that we can chain that motherfucker to a rock and let a hungry eagle ravage his body for the next hundred years?
Jeff Bezos Creates A.I. Start-Up Where He Will Be Co-Chief Executive Called Project Prometheus, the company is focusing on artificial intelligence for the engineering and manufacturing of computers, automobiles and spacecraft.
November 17, 2025 at 9:14 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
Current mood:
A comic book panel of a man with a metal arm, thinking "And I vow by this metal arm that I'll KILL that monster, not just trap it! This duel between me and the SUPER MOBY DICK will be to the DEATH!"
November 14, 2025 at 6:33 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
My "I DEFINITELY DON'T PEPPER SPRAY CHILDREN" t-shirt is raising a lot of questions that are clearly answered by my shirt
Us Homeland Security #@DH...20h S DHS LAW ENFORCEMENT DOES NOT PEPPER SPRAY CHILDREN.
November 12, 2025 at 4:49 AM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
"You cease, we fire"

Every god damn time
Israel’s military says cease-fire is back on as death toll from overnight strikes in Gaza reaches 104
October 30, 2025 at 3:04 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
I've dealt with a lot of criticism in my life — as a journalist, as a musician, as a fiction writer, and sure, even as a person.

But man, nothing can prepare you for the crushing sense of hopelessness you feel after your 5-year-old tells you how much your homemade R2-D2 costume sucks.
A homemade R2-D2 costume made out of a trash can, painters tape, and bike lights
October 29, 2025 at 5:07 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
The spice must flow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
0X SWC In Reagan's America, this is the sandworm. It Nlooks like a moist, luscious, womanly vagina.ANCIE U But now look at it, in 2021, it looks like a hairy butthole. Androgynous, could even be gay. It could make your kids gay. This is what the woke Hollywood agenda wants. RAI
October 1, 2025 at 4:08 AM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
Captain Marvel about to lose her job with the Avengers
Carol Danvers speaking to Iron Man; A DEAD NAZI? HARDLY A GREAT LOSS, TONY.
September 26, 2025 at 4:54 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
Hearing rumors now that Trump plans to designate the Invisibles as as official domestic terror organization, is this true?!
The Invisibles, illustrated by Frank Quitely. From left: Lord Fanny, Jack Frost, Ragged Robin, King Mob, and Boy
September 25, 2025 at 1:11 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
This sounds like the plot of a Phillip K Dick novel that would haunt me for life
GOOD TRIP A Startup Used Al to Make a Psychedelic Without the Trip Mindstate Design Labs, backed by Silicon Valley power players, has created what its CEO calls 'the least psychedelic psychedelic that's psychoactive."
September 24, 2025 at 8:18 PM
padraigkingsley.bsky.social
🎵 A boring life in a boring town with the same old crowd 🎵 (whoa-oh-ohh!)
www.lehighvalleylive.com/warren-count...
P'burg residents complain about Neighbors' 7am ska music brings tension to town meeting
September 23, 2025 at 2:24 PM